All Wrong
by secretpenname3
Summary: When Naruto, a twenty-four year old man with no certain direction in life sees Sasuke, a fourteen year old teenager beginning his, Naruto is hooked but tries everything to resist. But Sasuke has other plans  NaruXSasu
1. Let Me Off

**Hello. I'm back with another one. I know I should really be finishing off You've Destroyed Me but honestly I've lost all form of inspiration for that one. Sooo, I let my overactive imagination run and decided to write this piece.**

**Warnings: drugs, sex, alcohol, and under aged illegal shit goes down in this fic. This is also a boy on boy so if that's not your thing get out while you still have a chance.**

**Disclaimer: Honestly if I owned naruto things would have gone MUCH differently.**

**XXXXX**

You were twenty-four when you first saw the love of your life. He probably didn't think much about you when you two first met, and at the time you honestly couldn't bring yourself to actually give a shit about what he thought of you, or any other person in the world for that matter. You were young, not as young as he was, but young enough to still be reckless and abandon all thoughts of responsibility. You lived the life you've found so convenient, wasn't ideal, but it was better than friends you've had in the past.

You were twenty-four when you saw his pretty black obsidian eyes for the first time through your drug induced state. You sat crumbled behind a Seven-Eleven in an alleyway, joint burning slowly between your long bony fingers with the taste of weed in your mouth. He was with his two friends and was crazy about the world and the inner workings of it all at three in the morning.

Teenage bullshit. You say to yourself. It never gets old.

He laughs with his friends as they pointed at you. When one of his friends, one with a pretty face with short pale hair and light grey eyes blushed when you connected eyes with him you smirk at him and slowly lick your lips basking in the attention of such a pretty young thing.

He flushed a deeper red and hid behind his scarf. You roll your eyes and slowly take a drag from your joint, slowly letting it free from your lungs, enjoying the familiar burn. You watch the smoke curl in front of your face and your fingers until it rose into the air and finally disappeared.

When you looked back to the group of boys you find that his two friends were gone and he stood bathed in the street lamp light watching you with sharp black eyes. You smirk at him and stumble to your unsteady feet.

Fucking kid's gonna get himself hurt. Or raped, this was New York after all, anything could happen. You say to yourself before frowning.

If you could still form a coherent thought, you say to yourself, then you're not half as high as you wanted to be. Scowling you take another drag from your joint and watch him watch you.

He was only fourteen.

**OoOoOo**

The next time you see him was in an even less desirable circumstance. Once again he found you high off your ass in the alleyway behind the Seven-Eleven. But this time you aren't alone. You, with your drug glazed eyes, saw him standing underneath that damn lamp post. You shake your head and tried to focus on more exciting things. Take the flickering lights of the gas station across the street for instance.

How every exciting!

Your thoughts are ripped from you as blunt nails move to rank down your back as you bend an unknown woman over a wooded crate. She, with her pearl white skin and dark hair with equally dark eyes cried out and thrashed about as you move within her. She digs her nails into your arms (for once you're thankful you two were in too much of a rush to get the fucking on to take off your jacket) and threw her head back in pure ecstasy when you hit certain spots deep within her with deadly accuracy.

But you weren't focused on the woman you were currently fucking. How could you when the young sharp black eyes from the fourteen year old Adonis watched you from the safety of the lamp post?

When you both finish, the unknown woman with a shuddering cry and you with a groan, he, with his young boyish face and onyx eyes was gone. His once occupied spot beneath the lamp post now vacant.

You remove yourself from the unknown woman and dig out some more drugs, never taking your eyes off that spot. Not even when the woman wrapped her legs and arms around you for another quick round, her eyes just as glazed with drugs as yours are.

**OoOoOo**

The next time you see him, months later, you were in a restaurant, enjoying delicious fluffy pancakes; your fingers twitching with the ache to have drugs in your shot system, but you ignored it all- you wanted your fucking pancakes first- when all of a sudden he was sitting across from you in your booth. You freeze with your nice, warm fluffy pancake impaled on your fork.

What the fuck is he doing here and why the fuck is he sitting across from you? And that's exactly what you say none too politely. He suddenly flashes you a sweet smile that doesn't seem so innocent and lent forward and ate the piece of pancake on your fork. Slowly.

What. The. Fuck.

He smacked his plump pink lips and grinned up at you.

Your body feels hot because he's giving you a smoldering look that promises a good time.

The boy across from you dips his dainty finger into the syrup and slowly parts his pink lips and puts the tip of his finger in his mouth, making soft mewling sounds as he sucked the sweet treat from his finger.

"What the fuck?" you choked out. Your throat feels tight because no boy at fourteen should be able to look so damn delicious so young.

But you never get your answer because he walked out without a word, his tiny figure bouncing away as if nothing was wrong.

You push your plate away and run a hand through your messy blond hair.

Damn, you think, you really wanted a nice peaceful day with your fucking pancakes.

Never again do you eat pancakes or go to that diner.

**OoOoOo**

The next time you see him was when you spied his picture on a desk. You were in the middle of pulling your clothes back on when you zeroed in on that damned picture.

It's been a year since you've seen him so why the fuck was this happening now?

The woman you were fucking not ten minutes ago walked to you and began placing teasing kisses on your jaw bone.

"What's wrong?" she muttered into your ear. You shiver and take her lips with yours.

"Nothing." you say, pushing her against the desk, your eyes never leaving the picture. "Nothing."

When your second round with her was over you pick up the picture of the boy that haunted your mind for a whole year, you scowl at his smiling face.

"Who is this?" you ask nonchalantly. The woman shrugged and buttoned up her blouse.

"My cousin." she said, pulling on her pants.

Fuck.

"Why?" she asked, a sly look on her face, "Going to fuck him you fag?"

You pretended to be too busy with zipping up your pants to hear her.

You can't stand the fact that yes, if he was older you probably would have.

In a heartbeat.

**OoOoOo**

"I saw you with her."

You bang your head repeatedly into the wooden crate, the same one you've fucked a countless amount of women over years ago, and try to block him out.

Those fucking black eyes.

He was closer now; so close that you could almost smell him.

"Who the fuck are you talking about?" you griped. Honestly, can't a man enjoy a good ol' smoke outside anymore?

"My cousin fucker." he said.

You can't deny that you liked when he swore.

But this was only the second time that you've spoken to him and he proved to be a spit fire. A real hellion, unlike her much older cousin, who was smooth and sharp.

But if he was angry at the moment he didn't show it. Instead he looked indifferent. As if the fact that you undoubtedly fucked his older cousin didn't bother him in the least.

"Oh yeah. Her." you said lazily.

Get out

Get out

Your brain screams.

Too young too young.

Fucking drugs.

He stares at you before taking a seat across from you at the other side of the alleyway. You almost cry as he does. Does he not know what he does to you? You're a sick man. He's only fifteen.

He wore pale gray shorts and a tight checkered designed shirt on with a black scarf wrapped around his dainty pale neck.

"I like you." he says bluntly. Your eyes go wide and you try not to squeeze the shit out of your box of smokes.

"What the fuck are you talking about." you say heatedly.

He shrugs and watches you with piercing black eyes.

"I want you." he says.

You're struck with the overwhelming fact that you want him too.

'I want you underneath me begging me to keep going, to never stop, to consume you, to fuck you till you can't walk' you want to say.

But instead you throw your box of cigarettes at him and tell him to get the fuck away from you before you kill him. He does, not before taking the cigarette from your lips and taking a drag before walking away, his white shoes barely making a sound.

**OoOoO**

The next time you see him you're overwhelmed with drugs lodged deep into your system.

You stumble across a group of boys circling someone with your friend next to you. You friend, in his drunk and high state is babbling incessantly about nothing at all when you see that the boys are in a flurry of movement. You squint your eyes and find that they're surrounding a smaller figure.

Teenage drama you chuckle.

You steer your friend to the right before your eyes connect with onyx. There, in the middle of the circle the other boys have made, is him.

When he sees you looking he gives you a slight smirk and you scowl back.

But your little moment is cut short when a slap is delivered to his pale cheek; instantly red blooms where he was struck.

"Oooooh fuck!" your friend croons, "He just got fucked up!" he giggles and walks in circles, gazing at the moon.

It takes you while to finally process that the group of boys are kicking the living shit out of the onyx eyed fifteen-year-old.

"He's a fucking fag." you jump when a boy, the same boy with light gray eyes that was with him a year ago at the Seven-Eleven, appears next to you.

"Wha?" your thinking is too slow and muddled. You're too fucking high.

"He's a fag. Fucked a guy in school." he sneers. Before running up and joining the "fun". Instantly, once you figure it all out. You're angry. With a snarl you grab your friend's full beer bottle and throw it at the ground, glass flying everywhere. They all jump; you shove your way through them all and bark at them to back the fuck off. When they all scamper away you watch as he picks himself off the floor and you find yourself frozen when those eyes are connected to yours once again.

He leans up and places a bloody kiss to your cheek and stumbles away.

"Thanks." he says.

It takes you a while to actually process the fact that you find him incredibly hot covered in blood, bruises and cuts.

God you're so fucked up you say to yourself.

Your friend is now babbling about finding the secrets of the universe while in the confinements of his bathroom and you stumble to him and steer him away.

"Fucker." your friend hisses "I wanted to see that."

His words are slurred and you can't understand him.

"Fucking idiot, coulda seen some action."

"Shut up Kiba." You say.

**OoOo**

You deposit him next to the same crate you've spent so many memories with and sit next to him. For a while there's only silence and you take out another beer stashed away in your coat pocket and drink.

"Ya know I once had a brother?"

You look at your friend through the corner of your eye and pull out another one for him. He takes it with unsteady fingers and drops a bit on his pants.

"We were twins he and I." Kiba says. You nod your head and once again your body starts to get warmer with the alcohol you keep consuming.

But Kiba has yet to drink his.

"I know ya did, we used to play together." You say as if to remind him.

"Bull shit." he looks at you with dazed eyes. "You never knew him." you're stunned for a moment and think back to the picture of the three of you locked away in a small box in your room.

"You never knew him like I did." your friend goes on.

"Course not, you two were twins." you say.

"Damn straight." His eyes had a faraway look and you instantly didn't like it. He brings his legs to his chest and you watch as he slowly turns bitter. "Fucker had to die on me though."

With that last bit he chucked his beer at the other side of the alley way. It hit the wall and shattered. You watch as he looks with morbid glee when he sees the beer and shards go flying. Then he starts talking nonsense about shit you can't even begin to understand. Your too busy keeping your eyes on the shards of glass trying not to cry.

The three of you have known each other since you were all in high school. But the night of graduation, one of the twins off'ed himself. You're struck with the overwhelming thought that you're friend was right. You didn't know the dead twin like Kiba did.

Hell, you didn't even know which one died.

They were identical you see? Only they know who was who, who was alive and who was dead.

You glance back at your friend and saw that dead look in his eyes.

Fuck, you think, you don't even think they know.

**OoOo**

"They're still picking on you?" you sneer. You're sitting on that same old wooden crate, smoking and watching as he, now wearing pants that make his legs seem miles long and an over-sized sweatshirt, put another band-aid on his arm.

"You make me sound like a child." he says.

"Aren't you?"

He gives you that look that always stops your breath and he approaches you, his lips a hair away from yours.

"I don't have to be." he tells you. "Come on Naruto. Make me a man."

But you sneak your foot up and deliver a swift kick to his stomach that makes him choke and stumble back.

"Get the hell away from me fag." you hiss.

He laughs so hard you think he's gone insane. But then he approaches you and kicks you directly in the balls and you fall off your crate and crash onto the floor in an unsightly heap.

Fuck he didn't even hold back.

He then grinds the heel of his boots into your stomach and you try to fight to get your breath back.

"If you would just stop being a fucking pansy and fuck me already everything would be solved." he says.

"How the fuck would that be solved?" you ask. "Why the fuck am I involved in this."

"Because." he says. He removes his heel from your stomach and smirks down at you. "You're the only one I want. No one else will have me."

"Other than that boy." you say. You don't know why but you feel bitter. He rolls his eyes and walks off.

"Honestly now, believing teenage roomers?" he looks back at you with a smirk.

"What a fucking child." a few more steps and he's gone from your sight.

Fucking kids you say to yourself.

You push yourself up and try to decide what you want to do for the rest of the night.

**OoOoOo**

"It's because I wouldn't fuck Kabuto."

You groan and take another drag of your cigarette.

"I never fucking asked because I don't give a shit" you say. He honestly came out of nowhere. You were just trying to enjoy your night with your cigarette when he came out of the darkness and into the light of a random light pole provided. You have no idea where you are and you've always loved getting lost.

Until now.

He smiles up and you and takes the cigarette box form your pocket and lights one for himself.

"He wanted to fuck me. But I said no." he takes a drag and you're not paying any real attention to anything else other than his pretty pink lips. You say nothing but watch him enjoy his cancer stick.

Your heart is beating in your chest but you're not doing anything other than looking.

Then he looks at you and flicks his cigarette in a random direction. He takes your arm and pulls you into a secluded park not far from where you were standing. He sits you down on the bench an immediately latches onto your neck, nipping and sucking all the same.

You don't stop yourself from groaning.

No fifteen-year-old should be this good.

When his hands travel to your zipper you have to fight off a full-blown moan. Especially when he grabs your thickness in his hands and pulls you free from your confinements. The cool air that hits your length makes your need heighten.

It's the fact that you're both outside in a very open area with your dick in his hand for anyone who is awake at four in the morning to see that makes you excited.

He never takes his eyes off you and there's pink dusting his cheeks. You're pretty sure he wants this more than you do.

His hand is in a flurry of movement and his lips are connected to yours, his tongue battling you.

You come in his hand with a harsh bite to his neck and a groan. He pants in your ear like the hormonal teenager he is. It's only when your hand accidently brushes his hardness do you snap out of your stupor.

Fuck you think. He's under aged, a BOY and you just let him jack you off in a park.

You harshly push him away and tuck yourself back into your pants. He stumbles away and a look of hurt flashes in his eyes. But you glare him down with your blue eyes and try not to think about how fucking good those lips tasted.

"Stay the fuck away from me your faggot." You hiss. Without looking at him you walk away.

**OoOoOo**

It's been a month since that night and you're still dreaming about how good it would feel to be buried deep within that boy.

But you always try to deny it all. He's only a kid and you have bigger problems to worry about.

For example, ever since you've met him all the people you've fucked always had to look just like him. It doesn't help that your friend, Sai, looks almost exactly like him. And even he is starting to notice that you're staring at him far too much for comfort.

"Stop dreaming about fucking me you fairy."

You glare at him and avert your eyes.

"Who says I'm dreaming about you?" you sneer.

Fuck, it's not even a lie.

**OoOoOo**

On a random night you decide to walk around for a while before something catches your eye.

There, perched on the ledge of a very high bridge is Kiba.

You're struck with panic and you race to him. Your heart's pumping in your chest and your leg muscles burn.

"Kiba!" you scream "Fucking Kiba!"

He turns to you and smiles.

"Stop!" your throat is raw from screaming and the top of the river under the bridge is frozen.

You have only a second to reach out to him before he jumps.

But you're too late.

**OoOoOo**

You sit on the hood of your beaten down truck but don't move. You haven't moved for well over an hour but you never noticed. Millions of thoughts race through your mind and yet you can't even grasp onto one fucking thing and stick to it.

"It's been a year."

He's there again. Him with his skin tight jeans, converse shoes and tight shirt. Complete with those haunting black eyes.

He approaches you and puts his cool hand on your cheek. He's so close.

Too close.

"Get the fuck away from me." you hiss. But you lack the anger you wish you could find.

You don't have time to think however. Not when he pushes his lips to yours.

Your blood runs hot. Fire courses through your veins and you find that you don't want it to stop.

Your skin crawls with the promise of sex but you pull away.

"You're sixteen." is all you say.

But he smiles so seductively that it makes it hard for you to believe that he's so young.

You don't fight him this time. You don't do anything but throw your head back and take it like a man when he pulls you, hard and pulsing into his pretty mouth.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Reviews and encouragement is always welcome :D**

**There will be a second part soon I've already finished half of it**


	2. We All Fall Down

**Huray! Now for part two! Thanks to everyone that reviewed. I hope this one's a bit better.**

**Warnings: underage sex, drug usage, death, bad language ect plus boy on boy. If you didn't catch that in the beginning you're screwed.**

**OoOoOo**

"Where the fuck have you been?" Kiba growls as he sits in his asylum bed wearing clothes so white it stings your eyes just looking at him.

"I was getting sucked off by a man trapped in a child's body on top of my truck." you say bluntly.

Kiba rolls his eyes but doesn't question you. If there were any other people around and if the cameras watching the room were on, you'd probably find yourself occupying the bed next to Kiba.

He notices your stare and smirks

"Fuck you man, if you get stuck in here you're on your own. You can't have Akamaru's bed." he angles his head to the bed next to him. Empty and crisp as the day it was made.

You feel as if you were struck by something because Akamaru was been dead for a few years.

"Glad to know I'm loved." you say dryly, choking back your conflicting emotions. Kiba lets out a laugh and you can't help but chuckle back.

You hold up a bag and take out a small brownie. His eyes go wide and he laughs even harder.

"How the fuck did you get that in here?" he asks. When you don't move he scowls at you and sneers.

"The fuck you waiting for? Give it 'ere" but you sit next to his bed and watch him through your blue eyes.

"The only reason why I could bring it in is because I was sent to find out why you tried to fucking kill yourself a year ago."

Kiba snorts and shakes his head.

"You must think I'm a dumb fuck. You and I both know you just paid off every worker here to get that thing through."

It's true. But you still want to know.

You hand over the brownie and untie the straps keeping him down on the bed. With a grunt he stuffs it in his mouth.

He never answers.

"Fucking junkie." You say with no true malice.

"Fucking pedo." He says back.

**OoOoOo**

It's been a week since you've seen him and it's driving you crazy because all you can think about is him. You see his face everywhere and when you're alone all you can hear is his pretty little moans and whimpers. It's getting to the point where your hands begin to shake with the need to find him and touch him.

But you remain firm. Because he's only sixteen and he's still a child.

"Why don't we go somewhere?" your words flow from your mouth and you let them. You're in a club and there's a bunch of women and men that are vying for your attention. You've taken everything you could get your hands on because you plan on breaking a little sixteen year old's heart tonight.

You take the random woman that you've chosen for the night down that familiar path behind the Seven Eleven. She kisses you and you begin to remove her clothes. You sit her down on the wooden crate and she willingly spreads her legs like the whore she denies to be. When you have her shirt and bra off she begins moaning like a harlot and you move your hands south. Though your body is reaction to the situation quite well you find that your mind isn't focused. Because you can't get the image of _him_ out of your mind.

When you hike up the woman's skirt and she frees you from your pants you feel a chill. When you look over you see him.

You're onyx eyed beauty.

You're onyx eyed beauty that's only sixteen years old. It's a sad day when you have to constantly remind yourself of that.

He watches you with cold black eyes and you force your lips to give a smirk. You force your body to keep moving. Without breaking contact with his eyes you thrust forward and suddenly you're inside the woman under you.

She throws her head back and gasps at your sudden intrusion and you're pretty sure that it hurts her a bit. You weren't as gentle as you should be but you can tell she likes it. You begin moving, thrusting in and out of her. She grips your shoulders with her nails and you know you'll have scratches in the morning.

But he's still watching you. And you notice that his eyes have gathered moisture. But he doesn't cry, instead his face twists into a dark smirk.

Your heart gives a jerk when he finally turns his back to you and runs away. He's hurt and he probably won't come back. But that's a good thing you tell yourself. It's good because you're much too old for him and you're too much of a fucking mess to even begin anything with him.

He's only a kid.

A sixteen year old child.

With that last thought you ignore the tightness in your throat and feeling of loneliness and focus on giving this random woman the night of her fucking life.

**OoOoOo**

"You did something stupid didn't you?"

You flinch and roll your eyes. You reach into your pocket and pull out a much needed cigarette and light it up.

"You're one to talk fucker." Kiba rolls his eyes and flops down onto his bed with a sigh.

"What did you do?" he asks after a while. "Ya know there's no smoking in here." He says almost as an afterthought mockingly. You roll your eyes and sink into the chair next to Kiba's bed.

"I saved a little boy from a world of hurt." Is all you say. Kiba begins to laugh at you and you can't help but feel insulted.

"YOU? Saving someone? Ha! That's funny." He says. You find that you don't like that glint in his eyes.

"I saved you didn't I?" you demand. Fucker isn't even thankful. His laughter stops abruptly and his face is suddenly inches away from yours. His hand sinks into your hair and grips it so hard tears well in the corner of your eyes.

"What the fuck?" but he delivers a hard slap to your cheek and kicks over the chair and you go flying into the ground.

"Kiba!" you shout.

"Fuck you Naruto!" he screams. You stumble to your feet and watch as he finally gets off his bed and picks up the pitcher of water near his bed and throw it to the wall.

"You didn't save me!" he shrieks. "Do you have any idea how much you've fucked me over from "saving" me?" his eyes are wild and for once you're actually afraid. He kicks over his bed and you hear footsteps running to the room.

The door is thrown open and men that you've pain off to allow you to do whatever the hell you want in Kiba's room tackle their patient to the ground.

"Akamaru finally showed himself to me! He finally appeared in my dreams!" Kiba's eyes were so broken you actually feel like you're a monster.

"He fucking spoke to me Naruto! He spoke to me!" he's screaming so loud and his face is red from the activities.

"Shut him up!" the doctors say.

"Akamaru wanted to see me again! He promised the night of his suicide that he'll come back to me to tell me when we can meet again! And that night he came!" Kiba's voice begins to crack and tears spill from his crazed eyes. "I was going to join him Naruto! I was finally going to be with him! He's my other half, my brother, he was practically me! I was him! Do you have any idea? Any fucking idea how much it hurts to have your other half suddenly die on you? Do you?"

But you can't answer because you don't know. You don't know what to feel and you're so lost. You don't even utter a word, not even when the doctors force a needle into your friend's arm that forces him to sleep.

**OoOoOo**

"I heard about Kiba" Sakura says softly as if she was afraid you would have a breakdown as well. But you don't react. Your mind is a jumbled mess and you're so numb. You don't know what to do anymore. Everything is all fucked up.

"Naruto." She says softly. "Naruto look at me."

But you don't. She stays with you for an hour trying in vain to comfort you before she finally gives up.

"Don't do anything stupid." Are her final words before she walks away.

When her words finally register in your piece of shit brain you begin to laugh. You don't notice that's she's been gone for an hour and a half. But you laugh. You laugh so hard your throat turns raw and your eyes are leaking tears. Your stomach feels like it's going to tear itself apart and your lungs soon lose the ability to properly take in air. But you keep on laughing. Because everything is so messed up it's funny. Far too fucking funny.

**OoOoOoOo**

Its only a week later that you get the call you've been expecting for a while.

"Naruto!" its Sakura's broken voice. "Kiba's dead he-" you hang up on her because you already know and hearing it would make everything else seem more real.

**OoOoOo**

You're sitting in your bathtub and begin to remember a conversation you, Kiba and Akamaru had two days before graduation.

"I want ya to laugh alright?" Akamaru says. Kiba sits next to him and nods his head to the music playing in the background.

You remember rolling your eyes at the twins.

"Why would I laugh? Your family would kick my ass. Especially Hana."

Kiba answers for his twin.

"Because, who wants to leave earth with everyone all depressed and shit? If we were goin somewhere I'd much rather leave with people smilin and laughin ya know?"

You never noticed that he said we instead of I. Now that you think about it, Akamaru left his twin behind. Akamaru was always the one who tried get Kiba used to being alone. Perhaps him dying before his twin would be a big lesson for his twin to finally get used to being around other people without him.

But these thoughts never reached your 18-year-old mind and you shake your head like a retard and nod.

"I hear ya I hear ya. I'll laugh."

**OoOoOo**

Kiba is buried on a Saturday the same day as his late brother. You stand among the mourning friends and family and don't ever mutter a word. When you're called up in front of everyone to make a speech about how good of a friend and person Kiba was you choke on your words.

But not because you're going to cry. It's because you're trying to stop the laughter that's threatening to break through.

**OoOoOo**

"You're a fucking monster." Sakura hisses at you. You left the funeral early to go have a jolly good laugh in your car. A laugh that was rudely interrupted by your car door swinging open and Sakura's angry face.

"Am I?" you giggle.

She strikes you in the face and your head snaps back with the force of her blow.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" she shrieks. "Your friend is dead! He's fucking dead and you're laughing?" you turn your head and spit out the blood that gathered in your mouth. When she hit you, you bit your tongue on accident. In your defense she's been a black belt in karate for three years. She grabs you by the collar of your shirt and shakes you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she screams into your face. You let her because you want her to release her pent up sadness. She collapses into you and you hold her shaking body and allow her to soak your new shirt with tears. Because that's what friends do right? They comfort their friends.

When it's all over she straitens up and looks you dead in the eye.

"I'm moving." She says. But you try not to let it affect you.

"I'm moving to a different state." You nod your head and give her a solute.

"Good luck." Is all you say.

**OoOoOo**

He's there again. In his seventeen-year-old glory. He's taller and filled out in all the right places. His eyes are still sharp and his hair is a tad longer. So are his legs.

But you watch him through your blue eyes and try not to show a reaction to her. He slowly walks up to you and a feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach.

You're sitting on the hood of your truck with your feet dangling to the ground and he has to look all the way up to see your face. To get him out of your line of vision you lie down and look towards the sky.

"Hey." he says softly. You flinch and try to block him out. But you can't. Not when he hops onto the hood of your truck and places his knees on each side of your hips.

He's straddling you. Dear god he's straddling you.

He places each of his hands beside your head and leans down till his nose is millimeters from yours. You're forced to look up at him with your dim eyes.

"Why" you choke out. There are so many things weighing on your mind. Akamaru's left you, Kiba's left you, Sakura's left you. Who's next?

But he doesn't answer you. He kisses you and a fire that's been long gone, reignites. His cool hands begin to unbutton your shirt and you can't stop yourself. Especially not when he presses his body so close to yours. he strips you from your shirt and you run your fingers up his shirt. His breath hitches when your fingers brush his nipples and fondle them to hardness. You trail hot nips to his neck and you lick and suck.

"Please." he moans into your ear.

You take his shirt off and expose him to the cool midnight air. You flip him over so that you're on top and you begin your journey. Your hands and mouth trace every part of him, mapping out his body and mesmerizing everything about him. When he's only down to her boxers and you only your pants you force yourself to stop.

"We can't." You say you're panting and your brain is screaming at you to keep going. You're hard against him and you know he's hard and ready. But you stop because he's seventeen and you're twenty-seven.

He groans and flops down on your truck. He's biting his bottom lip and you know he's just, if not more, frustrated that you are.

"Why?" he demands. "Why?"

You try not to move too much because you're still on top of him and any slight movement will have your clothed dick brush up against his.

"Because. It's not right." he gives you a glare that only makes your need for him all the more hotter. He doesn't give you a chance to respond because he suddenly throws his legs around you and grinds his hips harshly against yours.

All thoughts leave your mind.

In a flurry of movement you crash your lips against his. With trembling fingers you rip off his boxer and kick off your own. When your heated dicks touch for the first time you groan. He's shaking with anticipation and he takes your hand and ticks three of your fingers in his hot moist mouth.

You thrust against him harshly and he pushes his hips up to meet yours. When it's too much for you to handle you yank your fingers out of his mouth, a trail of saliva leaving his mouth. You watch as he clenches his eyes closed and throws his head back when you sink the first finger into him all the way to the knuckle. He jerks for a bit as you wiggle it around, stretching him.

"Relax" you say. But you don't blame him. Your mind and body is on fire.

By the time you get the third finger in he's gasping and moaning, chanting your name. Then it hits you.

You don't know his name. You're thrown off when he yanks your fingers away and grabs onto your pulsing cock.

"Enough" he hisses "Do it now. Please I need you."

He spreads his legs even more, inviting you in. you smack his hand away and place yourself at your entrance. When you push the tip in he's already moaning

"haaa" he gasps. You try to take it slow because you know it's his first time. But he's so impatient because he snaps his hips up and forces you in all the way.

"fuck." Your voice strangled and you groan as he bites harshly into your neck.

"Move" he moans "dear god move" he chants your name in a mantra and you thrust deep within him. You thrust in and out and he moves his hips up to receive all of you. He claws your back and arms, trying to find a good hold on you because this is his first time and you can tell he loves every moment of it.

You want to say his name, to engrave it into your mind so you bed down and bite his ear.

"Your name" you growl. He smirks up at you with glazed eyes and flushed cheeks mockingly. You deliver a harsh thrust and he whimpers in retaliation.

"It-it's Sasuke."

"Sasuke." You repeat back. And it seems to get a good reaction out of him because suddenly he's moaning even louder and begging you to keep going. To never stop.

And you don't. Because you keep whispering his name and shouting it to the heavens as you come deep inside him. But he wants more. He's a spoiled child.

So you don't complain when he flips you over and begins to ride you like a naughty cowboy, screaming your name.

It's the first time the two of you have sex you're twenty-seven and he's seventeen.

**OoOoO**

**And there you have it, chapter two. The next chapter will be posted hopefully soon. But don't hold your breath. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**By the way I know kiba was waaay out of character but I wanted him like that. Even though in the manga and anime Akamaru is his dog, I made him Kiba's twin because those two have a special bond.**

**So yeah, if you have any questions pm them to me.**


	3. Embrace the mess that is me

**Sorry I've made you all wait so long for an update, things have been hectic on my part. A big thank you to everyone who have reviewed so far, you're my only inspiration!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, I just make them have hot ranchy sex in my stories. XD**

**OoOoOOoO**

"Fuck." Are the first words out of your lips, you wake up the next morning in the back seat of your car to find him cuddled closely to your side, dozing off and basking in the sunlight that is streaming through the window.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." It's your never ending mantra and you try to detangle yourself from him. But his grip is hard and he won't let you go. When you see his eyes beginning to fluttering open you heart stops. His eyes search around until they finally land groggily on you and he gives you a lazy smile looking very much like the cat that got the cream (literally) and stretches.

"Morning." He says. Obviously he doesn't get the gravity of the situation. Because he's not freaking out like you are and you feel appalled. You search for the handle to the door and go stumbling out.

You're freaking out.

Because he's only seventeen and now you're a pedophile; a cradle robber, a rapist everything in the book.

You run around your truck and pick up your clothes because for the first time since Akamaru's death you're scared shitless. When you're dressed you begin gathering his clothes and throwing it at him all the while screeching at him to hurry the fuck up and get dressed.

"Will you stop acting like a child?" he says irritated because you're throwing his clothes at him and 'wrinkling' them. You snap because he may be fine with it but you're not.

"Will you stop trying to act like a fucking grown up?" you scream. "I could be in jail for this you fucking idiot!" it's not so much the fact that you can be thrown in jail that scares you. It's the fact that you just had sex with someone ten years your junior. He glares at you and pulls on his clothes with stiff and jerky movements. You turn away and begin to pace. You need a cigarette, anything to calm down.

"Stop freaking out it was bound to happen anyway." He hisses at you, clearly pissed off.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" you demand just, if not more, pissed off than he ever could be. He just chuckles and calmly slinks up to you sensually. You back up because you don't want him anywhere near you. You can't trust yourself anymore.

He's a head shorter than you but he looks more menacing with his eyes narrowed to slits and mouth set in a tight line.

"You don't think I haven't noticed?" he whispers to you. "Ever since you've seen me, every person you've fucked looks almost like me."

You look away because it's true.

But you shove him back and let your anger bubble over.

"Fuck you!" you scream but he only laughs at you.

"I believe we already have." You want to throw something at him; you want to do anything to hurt him, to completely break him just to show him that no one fucks with you without suffering some form of consequences. But instead you hop into your truck, fire up the engine and drive away.

**OoOoOoO**

The first place you go is to a bar. Your head is pounding and it's been a while since you've had a fix. Your hands are shaking and your eyes are watery and your skin is crawling. The people here recognize you and they greet you with shifty eyes and a nod. You walk inside and head straight to the office door. You kick it open at gaze upon the face of your main supplier.

"Gaara." The redhead looks up at you with glazed green eyes and pink full lips. You slink over and he watches as you take off your jacket and stretch yourself across his desk which you know is filled to the brim with the shit you need. The chair he's sitting in rolls back and he watches as you slick off your shirt. A smirk makes its way across those plump lips and he pulls out a tiny bag of your much needed fix. You roll off the desk and kneel before him and reach for his belt buckle.

"You know what to do." He tells you.

'You're fucked.' You think. Because during the whole time you have Gaara in your mouth and hear his whimpers all you think about is Sasuke; Sasuke with his petal like lips, smooth pale skin and black onyx eyes.

**oOoOoOOoOo**

It's a week later that Sakura actually take the time to visit you. You're sitting in your apartment in your isolated side of the couch drowning in your thoughts of Sasuke.

"Naruto…please talk to me, I need to know that you're okay." But you don't answer her for the fear of yelling at her.

Of course you're not fucking okay. You want to yell but you bite your lip and remain silent.

She looks around at your dirty apartment and curls her lip in disgust. Your apartment always looked like shit, with dirty dishes piled on top of each other, clothes discarded in all directions and drugs strewn across your coffee table in full out display. Years ago, when you used to be in high school and Akamaru was still alive the apartment used to be somewhat clean. Because back then Kiba and Akamaru used to live with you, even though they had a dog fetish they hated messes and would always keep the apartment partially clean. But now that they're gone the apartment is in complete disarray.

Once that thought hit you your throat tightens and your eyes get a little bit wetter.

Sakura sighs at you and gets off the beaten up couch you sit on and tries once again to get your attention.

"You need to move out." She tells you. And it's true. You've lived in this apartment for about nine years. When you all were seventeen you, Kiba and Akamaru bought this apartment to get away from the world.

But it never worked because the drugs and drama followed you all.

When she finally sees that you couldn't be reach and your mind is too muddled she reaches out and touches your messy blond hair like a mother would.

"Please Naruto, try to take care of yourself."

And then she was gone.

And you laughed your ass off.

**OoOoOoO**

You're sitting in your bathtub sometime later once again and don't even notice that the once too hot water is as cold as ice. Your fingers are pruned, carved with crevices and grooves. Almost as if they were shriveled messes. Which they were if you wanted to be truthful about it. Your bathroom sink is filled to the brim with bottles and pills that you have taken because you expected to die this night.

You took everything you get your hands on and slipped into the hot bath because you heard that death was so cold and wanted to die warm.

But god nor the devil wanted you because you didn't die.

Instead you woke up freezing because you've been passed out in your bathtub for half a day. And that's when you begin to think. And thinking was always a bad thing for you, because when you think, you remember. And your memories always cause you so much pain.

But you remember because without those memories you have nothing. And no one wants to own nothing.

So you remember, you remember the nights were your mother would tuck you behind the couch and face your drunkard of a father, face the cold words and harsh hits while you hide behind that damn couch cowering in fear. You remember the woman your father would bring home when your mother gets beaten so bad that she has to stay in a hospital, remember when that woman would lay you down and force you to touch her in places your ten-year-old self knew you shouldn't touch.

You remember how Iruka, a fifteen year old teenager from down the street, accompanied with Kiba and Akamaru, who were only ten at the time, would break into your piece of shit for a house and steal you away from the screams and hopelessness. You remember the feeling of betrayal when Iruka, who used to hold you close and chase away your fears, died in a car accident with his boyfriend Kakashi a year later.

You remember the look on your mother's face when she found out that after a cruel beating she finds that she miscarried your would-be sibling.

You remember things that shouldn't be remembered and yet can't stop it.

And it's starting to slowly destroy you.

**OoOoOo**

You're twenty-seven when you decide to leave. The night was cool and crisp and the lights of New York were unforgiving. The moon was full and hung at the edge of the sky, as if it were holding on for dear life just to stay upward. Its light reflected off your car window, as red as blood and you have nothing to say about anything.

Because you're apartment is on fire.

But your mind isn't focused on your burning apartment. It's focused on the fact that you're so pathetic that you cant even properly kill yourself and that you've recently fucked a seventeen-year-old. And all you can think about is how his face twisted in euphoria when he came. How his gasps and moans filled the night air on top of your truck as you finally made him into a man. How he never once looked away from you as he arched up to you as you moved deep within him. All you can focus on is the way he said your name. As if you and your name was God's gift to mankind. Even though you were on top of him, holding him, it was he that made you feel like you were wanted. And you were because he wanted you.

And that scares you.

So you opted to go away for a while.

If Kiba were here he'd say that you were due for a nice long trip.

If Akamaru were here he'd say that you everyone needed a break.

If Iruka were here he'd say that you were lying to yourself and running away never solves anything.

And if you were with them, if they didn't decide to fucking die, you reason to yourself, then you wouldn't be in this mess. Or any mess for that matter because they were the ones who always watched out for you.

But the fact of the matter is that a seventeen-year-old scares you shitless and your sitting in your truck staring at fire trucks and nosey people.

And oh yeah, your apartment is on fire.

So you get off your truck and slam the door closed. You have to take deep breaths because you know that if Sakura or your crazy grandmother, Tsunade were here they'd probably kick your ass so hard you sure you would have found their shoes shoved so far up your ass you'd be sneezing out their shoelaces for weeks.

You try to convince yourself that you have nerves and balls of steel and grit your teeth before running forward like a bat out of hell.

You run past everyone waiting around wanting to know what's going on. Past the fire fighters who are trying to fix and control the fire; and finally past the smoking doors and into the burning apartment building.

Your heart is pounding and you ignore the screams of the firefighters. Because honestly, what sane person would run into a burning building?

You of course.

You dodge the random debris falling from the ceiling and the scorching heat and shoot up the stairs.

Why the fuck did you listen to the twins when they suggested that you get the apartment on the tenth fucking floor?

When you finally haul your ass up the stairs you throw open the door that leads back to the apartment hallways and are hit with a cloud of smoke.

"Shoulda listened to those idiots in grade school." You wheeze to yourself. You take off your sweater and wrap the sleeves around the bottom half of your face to protect your breathing. You hunch your shoulders because one of the rooms on this floor is on fire and it's spreading to the hallway. You run swiftly and kick open your door.

Only to find that your apartment room is also on fire.

But you run past the flames in the living room and go into your room. You push open your closet room and remove three shoe boxes. After that you grab a backpack and as quickly as you can you shove the boxes in there with some clothes and grab a picture that rested on your dresser.

Finally set you decide you needed to get the fuck out of there.

Now.

So you run out of your room, passed the flames that finally engulfed your kitchen and to the door way. But not before throwing a glance at Kiba and Akamaru's room.

It hurts. Leaving them behind.

But you do because they're dead and you will be too if you don't keep moving.

When you burst into the hall way you're blinded for a split second because the walls of the hallway are on fire now and the heat is so intense. You hold your backpack to your chest and try to power through it all. But when you turn the corner you see that a ceiling beam has collapsed in the door way of the stairs, completely on fire.

"Fuck." You say.

So you turn back around and bolt to the window. You stop short however when you hear it. It was so muffled that you almost missed it.

"Help."

Goddamn it this is so _fucking_ cliché.

You groan and run up to a door completely on fire and kick it open swiftly to not get burned. You burst through the door and start screaming.

"Where the fuck are you?"

"Over here!" is weak response. You run to a room and throw open the door, burning yourself on the handle. When you get inside you see a little girl, no older than eight crouched down beside her bed crying silently.

"Get the fuck up!" you shout sharply.

Honestly you both are about to burn to a crisp, you don't have to time to be nice.

She gets up quickly and grabs onto your hand with her brown eyes wide with fear. You hold on tightly to her and bolt out the door. But she's too slow. Because her legs are so tiny and yours are so long. So with a cry of frustration you give her your bag to hold and pick her up.

"Don't drop it." You say.

Your forehead is dribbling with sweat because the hallway is almost completely on fire and you have nowhere to go because there is a pile of debris on fire in front of the window. But outside the window is a fire escape and it's your only hope for life. So you hold onto her tightly and run.

You kick over a big piece of wood that must have been a part of the ceiling that was blocking your way and try to ignore the feeling of the child's tears on your neck. When you finally make it to the window you have to punch it open because the wood around it is on fire. The window was scorching hot and it burned your hand, but after you punched it the glass embedded itself into your hand but your way too panicked to heed the wound. You punch it repeatedly until there's almost no harmful glass that could harm the girl and you push her through the window.

"Go! Go!" you chant at her.

"Mr.!" she yells "The bag! It burnt open!"

When you whip around sure enough, one of the precious shoe boxes is in the middle of the pile of burning debris.

"Just keep going down the fire escape!" you yell at her. You don't wait for a response and shoot toward the pile because the shoe box caught fire.

And then, everything in the shoe box bursts out and strewn everywhere are pictures of everyone you once held dear.

Kiba, Akamaru, Sakura, a young and very much alive Iruka and his strange pervy boyfriend Kakashi, pictures of your senior year in high school, pictures of your mother, pictures of your youth.

And it's all starting to burn.

So you throw yourself over the fire and begin picking it all up. Even those of which are on fire.

But it's not enough, your eyes begin to sting when you see the photo of you, Kiba, Akamaru and Sakura the day of graduation burn to a crisp. You have a sudden feeling of loss and your body grows sluggish. When it finally gets to you that over half of the photos are gone you take what you can and run back to the window but you're distracted.

A burning piece of ceiling falls and smacks you in the cheek and that throws you to the floor. In your arms is what's left of the pile of photos of your youth. The sweater you had wrapped around your face is on fire so you tare it off. It's only when you try to get back up does another part of the ceiling fall and smack your head so hard it sends you reeling.

Through the haze of pain you can't help but remember Akamaru's words.

"Ya know? It's funny how no matter hard you try to get up you'll always be pushed back down eventually."

You black out for a moment and duly note the fact that you're going to probably die. There's nothing you can do because you're disoriented from the blow to your head and you're trying to protect what's left of your friends.

"Damn, ya fucked up bad."

You snap your head up and standing, not two feet away from you is the twins. But you know that it isn't real because you just got your head smashed in and you're slowly going crazy. But that doesn't stop you from being happy about seeing them.

Your illusion.

"Get the fuck up man!" they shout at you and it gets you moving.

You stumble because the bottom of your pants is on fire as well as your selves. Without looking anywhere else but at their faces you run right through them, and towards the window. But your heart stops when you trip over something and the pictures go flying out the window, floating to the ground of the black New York streets.

Your being is filled with horror and you have to force yourself to keep moving. You quickly pat out the fire licking at your skin and throw yourself out the window and onto the fire escape. Once there you notice that the girl is gone. She must have gotten out.

But there's one problem that you're forced to stay with.

The fucking fire escape is on_ fire_.

If this wasn't such a threatening situation you're pretty sure you'd burst out laughing at the irony of it all.

You're frozen with fear and you don't know what to do. If you stay you die and if you go you'll die.

"The fuck ya waitin for?" it's Kiba, he's standing in the window with his twin, giving you that same smile that is filled with secrets.

"Get goin." Akamaru chimes in, giving you that same smile.

"You'll be fine." It's then that you notice that Iruka with his warm smile and gentle eyes was right there with them.

But it's all fake because you're imagining it all.

But it does get you moving.

So you do the only thing logical to a desperate man on the tenth floor fire escape that's currently on fire.

You jump.

**OoOoOoOo**

**"Naruto? Naruto can you hear me?"**

**OoOoOo**

When you turned 6 a series of events occurred. That was a year that

1. Your rowdy and headstrong grandmother Tsunade died of cancer

2. Your father began drinking

3. Your father began getting violent

4. Your mother was beaten

5. You met Kiba and Akamaru, the twins from down the street.

When you turned eight things began spiraling down until you were sure your life ended right then and there this was the year that:

1. Your mother began hiding you in small places to make sure she would take the full brunt of the beatings

2. You met Iruka, a boy who was five years older than you down the street.

3. Kiba and Akamaru gave you a knife and told you "Just in case"

4. Your father used you as target practice for his "Knife throwing career" and you knew it was bullshit because he didn't know the first thing about knives.

5. You dreamed about slitting his dirty throat.

There was probably a lot more that happened but you honestly can't remember anything other than that because it gets too fuzzy. Whenever you used to ask the twins, who together had the memory of three fucking elephants would shrug at you and say that it wasn't important if you couldn't remember.

When you were 10 more events unfolded.

1. Your father beat your mother so bad that she would be hospitalized. Continually.

2. Your father would bring home a woman with eyes so dark and evil you wondered if she was even alive.

3. She began taking your hand and forcing you to touch places you knew you shouldn't

4. Iruka, his boyfriend, Kiba and Akamaru begin breaking into your house late at night and taking you to their house to protect you.

You were always grateful towards them, especially Iruka. They, even though they were so young, risked everything to protect you. Even going as far as taking a bat to your father's head to knock him out when the beatings and screams were worse than usual.

When you hit the age of 11 things got worse. This was the year that

1. Your father began drugs

2. That horrible woman began taking things further

3. Your mother miscarried.

You remember the look on her face; white dress beginning to stain a horrible red as blood ran down her legs, a clear sign of miscarry. You remember holding her hand as she screamed and cried, the dream of a little brother or sister slipping further and further away from you.

But things didn't get better like Iruka used to promise because he died. You were 11 when things became almost unbearable.

1. Iruka, who always held you in his warm arms and Kakashi, who always smelled like pine and hid his face, two people you respected and loved all the same, died in a car crash on their third year anniversary.

2. Your father mocked you because of it.

3. You couldn't attend the funeral because that horrible woman locked you in a room with her for the whole day.

When you finally hit 13, the age where everything takes an even more sinister edge and you don't have enough of anything, more things happened.

1. You hit the full frontal of puberty

2. You finally bitch slapped your father's whore away from you

3. You get into fights at school with Kiba and Akamaru having your back. Three against the world.

4. You meet Sakura and fall in love for the first time

5. You finally lost to temptation and steal your father's drugs.

After all of that everything is a blur of events. Some worse then some, others just fine. It wasn't always like that however, years filled with hatred.

Sometimes, you had your fair share of laughter and love. You learned how to find the simple pleasures in life, like when your father was passed out, you, the twins and Sai, a painter you made friends with at school would take your mother's sharpies and draw all over his face, drawing penises and swear words all over his face. Sometimes, on good days, you, the twins, Sai, Sakura, two additions to the group, shy little Hinata and her over protective cousin Neji would sit in the park and eat ice cream and light fire crackers all day.

On other days you remember sitting over at the twin's house, lounging around, knowing your mother was safe at the hospital.

One day in particular you remember something very important.

The day you had your first legitimate kiss.

You remember sitting down at Sakura's house alone with her for the first time in her room. You were a nervous wreck and you didn't know what to do. But she (and for the life of you, you couldn't tell why) was just fine. She smiled and laughed as if there was nothing ever to be nervous about.

You remembered her light green eyes and wavy shoulder length bubble gum hair. You remembered the way she smelt, like roses in a garden. You remembered how still the room was, and how soft her lips felt against yours.

And then you remembered how it all fell apart.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

**"Naruto?"**

**OoOoOoOoO**

You remember one particular night when you were 15 and you were approached by a beautiful broken angel who showed you a whole new meaning to the word weightless with her ruby red lips and her pretty little pills. You were already high off the joint you had smoked earlier and everything was hazy. So you did what every young teenager would do in that situation.

You kissed her and let her slip the pill into your mouth when she pulled you into a secluded room.

When you were fifteen you had many more experiences, it was the year that:

1. The first time you ever fucked a girl willingly was at a random party with a broken angel disguised as a woman who introduced you to more drugs and her two friends Deidara who was just as beautiful and Gaara, whom you found again years later when you were older, instead of doing it with your girlfriend, Sakura.

2. Got so high that you ended up fucking some random guy in a bathroom stall for a little cocaine a few weeks later

3. Got dumped by Sakura after she slapped you and called you a fuck up

4. Found out your mother had cancer

5. Watched as Neji, whom had tried so hard to protect shy little Hinata, fell apart when she went missing for a week and then who's corpse was later found by the cops, violated and mutilated in the woods behind the school.

6. Stabbed your father with a kitchen knife and hid under Kiba's bed for three days.

7. Called Sakura and sobbed like a baby begging her to forgive you.

**OoOoOoOoO**

**"Naruto? Can you hear me?"**

**OoOoOoOo**

Your eyes snap open and you find that everything is so white that it stings.

But your eyes don't water.

"Naruto? Naruto can you hear me?"

You don't know where you are. Everything is so dark. You're lying down and a cough burns your throat. The scent of something sterile and clear with a hint of disinfectant laced with the strong smell of medicine and clean sheets hit's your nose.

"Naruto, are you with me?"

You choke on your words until you feel hands help you sit up. When you're finally up right you hiss because your head is pounding and you feel the familiar kiss of burns. Something cool is at your lips and you part them to allow the much needed water to spill into your lips and down your burning throat.

But why? You wonder.

"Naruto?"

Why was it so dark?

"Naruto."

Your eyes are open, you know they are. Your eye lids are wide open, but you can't see. You can't fucking see.

"Naruto, I'm sure you're confused, but please remain calm. I need to run a few tests to make sure you're okay."

Your heart is pumping fast. You can feel it. You can also hear it.

"What the fuck is going on?" you rasp. Your throat is still so dry even after drinking the water.

"Naruto…"

"Will you stop repeating my name like a god damned parrot?" you snap. You have no time for games, not when you don't know what the hell is happening. "Where the hell am I, what happened and why the fuck can't I see?"

When the unknown person doesn't answer you can't help but fidget.

Because you can almost taste his pity.

"Naruto…you're blind."

**OoOoOo**

"You had no one listed as your emergency contact so we didn't know how to call." You snort and sink back into your bed as doctor dick head as you like to call him speaks.

"I did list someone, two people."

"…Naruto." There it was again; pity.

"Yeah yeah I know, their dead, didn't have ta rub it in." you enjoy fucking with him. You're blind and miserable; can't a guy have some fun?

It's been a week since the fire and you don't know what you're going to do because you can't see and any identification was in the back pack you gave to the little girl, a little girl of which you had no idea what happened to. Apparently you burnt parts of your arms and legs, your hair, which was at the nape of your neck, is now uneven, some of it had been burnt so now (from what you can feel) it hangs awkwardly in your face. There was one bad burn in particular that lies on the left side of your neck and down your chest. Apparently when you jumped off you fell onto a pile of burning debris which lied on top of a dumpster, had a person who lived in the apartment building not have thrown away his mattress there you'd probably be dead. But it didn't prevent you from smashing your head into the side of the dumpster. Thus the reason for your blindness.

"Nartuo I need to do some tests."

"What for?"

There's a moment of silence save for the heart monitor beeping in sync with your heart. It was a steady beat in which you drummed your fingers to.

It was real proof that you were still alive because you've never felt deader.

"There may be a chance that you can see again."

The monitor sped up for a fraction of a second before falling back into the same steady pace.

"Is that so?"

You don't believe him.

**OoOoOoOo**

**And there you have it! :D it's much longer than my other ones I think, buut anyway, if you have any questions or any feedback at all I wanna hear it please. So in other words review because it helps me out a lot.**


	4. I stumble and then I fall

**Thank you to all of those who reviewed! You all helped me a lot! Hehehe as a treat you get the next chapter :D and a special thank you to **Junexity, **who gave me a wonderful review! :D *huggles***

**Without further ado, here it is!**

**OoOoOoOo**

You open your eyes but are once again met with darkness. But it doesn't bother you anymore because you think it's fitting. You never would have expected to become blind, what you _did_ expect was to have your dead body found lying face down in a ditch somewhere with more drugs then there was blood in your veins. So of course it was a bit of a surprise when Doctor-Dickhead told you your eyes were now useless. But it didn't bother you as much as you originally thought.

So you let him do what he wanted. Let him put you in huge machines to look at X-rays that allows them to see how bad the damage was. You let him run his tests, poke and prod your body; not like you have anything else better to do then to lay there and sleep.

When you first woke up you remember the ache of the burns, the familiar feeling of pain. They're healing now, but slowly. But there is one thing that makes it all bearable.

Painkillers. And lots of them.

It's funny how you can get the nurses and doctors to bend to your every will, your every beck and call. Like a coil wrapped around your finger. Or strings of a puppet, each thin piece of thread connected from their bodies and controlled by every flick of your finger.

You find amusement in their pity. So your blind, so what? S'not like you wanted to travel and see the world or something retarded like that. You've seen all there was to see of this ugly world and you're content with just rotting away in your hospital bed.

"Hey."

Your fingers are beginning to twitch and your head beginning to pound. The morphine the nurse gave you is wearing off and you want more.

Much more.

"Hey." You say again. When you know you have the doctor's attention you reach your hand out and blindly search for his coat. "It hurts." Is all you have to say.

And you smirk to yourself because you can hear him shuffle away and hear the familiar rip of plastic as he gets the drugs ready for you.

Ah yes, life is good.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

It was a week later that you feel a presence beside you. You know someone is there but you don't know who. You've only been blind for a little while so you still haven't mastered your other senses. But you can feel someone next to you. Hell you can practically _taste_ them.

But they stay away from you. The person stays by your bed but never touches you. Once in a while you can feel their fingers hover over you but they never make contact. So you say the only name that would jump out at you at such a time of peril.

"Sakura?"

But it was illogical because anyone who knew you was either dead or moved away. But it doesn't stop you from calling out to her like you used to.

"Sakura, is that you?"

Your world comes crashing down when tears hit your face and that same smell hits you.

"I'm happy." Sasuke says, his voice smooth like silk, "that you're alright." After that his voice cracks due to his tears

"It's you." Is all you can choke out.

And it is. He's sitting on the chair next to your bed watching you, crying over you.

Him and his seventeen-year-old self.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

You try not to react to him. But he knows that you know he's gonna get something out of you. Because he knows that you know he still wants you. And you know that he knows that you know you do. But he also knows that you know the reason why you don't want to touch him. And he wants to get it out of you.

But you won't budge.

So he tries to do little things, anything to get you to want him again. He wants to push you to the point where you snap.

He wears his best cologne, not too much because he knows that your nose is very sensitive now. He speaks softly because you know he watched how you would wince every time the nurses would speak too loudly and hurt your ears. He glides his fingers across your skin in feather like touches because he knows that for a blind person soft touches are the most intimate of things above all. Your skin is hypersensitive and each time he runs his fingers across your hands you have to fight off that well known urge to take him.

And he knows this and is trying to get you to explode. And you know you will if he continues.

So you in your hospital bed and hospital sheets turn away and grit your teeth. You steel yourself up and try to ignore him.

But you're slowly crumbling.

**OoOoOoOo**

It's very late at night when you hear something suspicious. Your sensitive ears pick up the sound of soft footsteps, footsteps from someone sneaking around. You tense when your door is slowly inched open and immediately that wonderful scent hits your nose.

So he's here.

"What are you doing?" you demand. But you hear the tall tale sound of him shushing you gently and you hear the door close.

Your heart stops when you hear it lock.

"What are you doing?" you say once again but for some reason much softly. You try not to feel nervous and suspicious. You try to block him out but you can't. Not when his lips are to your jaw and his feather like fingers are gliding across your arms; especially not when he sides the covers from your waist.

"Shh," he says again, his breath hitting your ear. You shiver and have to do everything in your will not to freak out when he throws a leg over your body and straddles you.

Dear god it was like last time.

"Get off me," you hiss at him, blindly reaching up to throw him off. But he presses his lips gently to yours and begins to undo your hospital gown.

"Shut up," he tells you gently but firmly, his voice causing ripples to travel through your body. When he finally has your gown loose from its bindings he slides it down your body and leaves it to pool at your waist. The air in the hospital room was crisp and he was like a human furnace. He places another chaste kiss to your jaw and you feel his fingers move once again. You feel the pads of his fingertips travel across your body, gentle in the way they touch you.

It takes you a while to finally piece together what he's doing. He's kissing and touching your burns, softly, as to not aggravate them, tenderly as to acquaint himself with them. It's only when he reaches up and places a kiss on both your eyelids do you finally smell his tears.

"You could have died," he whispers. Internally you congratulate him for keeping his voice smooth and steady. You swallow the knot in your throat and grab his wrists in a firm but gentle grip.

"What are you doing here?" you say. You can hear him chuckle and he pulls his wrists free and slides his hands down your chest.

"I want you," he says sweetly.

"We're in a hospital bed." You say dryly. But that doesn't deter him.

"I know, kinky isn't it," he chuckles and kisses the spot where your shoulder meets your neck and you try so hard not to react. But it's too late because you're already hard.

"You're seventeen." You choke out. It's your last and defense but you know that he doesn't care. He finally kicks off your gown and you run your hands over his outer thighs, feeling smooth skin until your fingers hit material, miles away from his knees. You feel that he's only wearing his boxers and a loose shirt. You can't help but wonder what he would look like in a mini-skirt, would his legs be as creamy as you remember? If you still had your sight and you asked him to put on a show would he do it? What would it look like? Would his legs glisten as they did before when they were wrapped around you waist, shaking in ecstasy on top of your truck? Would his eyes be as electrifying? If you do fuck him, right here, right now in this hospital bed would his face have that same look of pure euphoria? Would he still call out to you in that voice?

You feel him pull off his boxers and you catch the scent of your musk combining with his. He licks and nips along your neck and chest and you run your hands up and down his semi-clothed hips.

"What color is it?" you whisper to him, fisting the shirt in your hands. He takes your hand and you gasp a little when he slips one of your fingers into his mouth.

Gods you want to know what he looked like right now at this moment.

"Orange." He whispers back.

"Kinky." Is all you can say.

The rest of the night is filled with the soft sounds of sex and the hospital bed creaking. You when your fingers, now wet with saliva slip into something wetter and tighter you groan because you can only imagine your member being swallowed by that very heat. Your breathing turns harsher and you hear Sasuke take a sharp breath as he impales himself deeper on your fingers. You wiggle them and try to help with the stretching and soon he's rocking his hips to our fingers, trying to get them deeper. Everything is slick and wet; you run your other hand over the inner part of his thigh and feel the subtle hint of a quiver. You feel him pull away from your fingers and you growl when you feel him finally take a hold of you.

"Naruto," he whimpers as he sinks inch by inch onto your shaft. You grab his hips in a bruising grip and slide him deeper down. He jerks a bit and you can hear him grit his teeth. God he was so tight. When he's fully seated you throw your head back and try to get your breathing back to normal because you're afraid your heart will burst in your chest. When he finally gets moving up and down, grinding down on you, saying your name like a prayer you lose all concentration because you can almost imagine what he looked like.

Glazed black eyes, red tinted cheeks, plump pink mouth open in pleasure, hair plastered to his cheeks and a look of pure pleasure. You can imagine him throwing he head back, you imagine what his hair looked like. You hear him whine, trying to keep quiet so that you both don't get caught. But it was so hard because with this sort of pleasure, god you wanna fucking scream it out to the heavens, just like you both did that night on top of your car. When it was nearing the end and you felt him explode, you, nearing your end, grabbed him by the hair and you sunk your teeth into his neck. He collapsed on top of you and released his hold on you and laid down beside you. But you weren't done. Because now that it's easy for you to imagine him and those black eyes, you want him so much more. So you roll on top of him and blindly pull his legs apart. You pant into his ear as if you were the hormonal teenage boy instead of him.

"Again."

You once again sink your teeth into his white dainty neck and for a week he complains that he has to wear turtle neck sweaters.

**OoOoOoOo**

It's been a week since that night and he has come back day after day and occasionally late at night. You don't know how he manages to sneak into your room so late at night let alone the hospital but you don't voice your questions let alone tell the nurses even though you know you should. Time and time again he sneaks in and you find that you're beginning to think of him as the man he is growing to be and not the child. So it's beginning to get easier and easier to push him flushed against the sheets and take him again and again.

You've calmed down and take to notice that you're not bugging the nurses or the doctors for more drugs. And you think that it's time to finally get away. He's taking you over, filling your thoughts with him every day, and practically engraving himself into your bones. It's bad enough that every time he leaves you crave for more like the drug addict you are. So when you feel the doctor float by you grab the tail end of his coat and demand his attention.

"I need to make a phone call." You say firmly.

**OoOoOoOo**

"Thank god you're okay!" you grunt as Sakura throws her arms around you and shoves you to the hospital bed. "Why didn't you call me soon you asshole?" she shrieks in your ear, making you wince and hiss.

"Fuck Sakura! You'll blow my ear off!" you shout.

"You'll deserve it you prick!" she shouts back in retaliation but lowers her voice anyway. She sobs into your scarred chest and periodically slaps you all the while telling the distressed nurses and doctor to politely fuck off because she's seeing her ruined friend and they'd better leave before she beats the shit out of them.

Gotta love Sakura.

After a good hour of all the dramatics you pull her off you and blindly reach up and try to wipe her tears away.

"Sakura." You say softly. "Sakura I need to get out of here." She takes your hand into hers and she presses it to her tear soaked cheek and you feel her nod.

"I'll take you with me." She promises. "I'll take care of you."

You leave on a cold Sunday morning with snow crunching under your uncoordinated feet without a word and you know that when _he_ comes back to the hospital at night he'll find an empty crisp hospital bed.

**OoOoOoOo**

"**Today is the day you begin a new life. Today is the day you become something better. Today is the day you become beautiful…today is the day you die and become reborn."**

These are the words your mother would tell you every morning. But you always laughed at those words because every time you know they were a load of shit.

No one can change overnight and she should have known better then to tell her small son that. Should have known that every time she whispered those words into your ear every morning you'd die a little inside

Because you didn't know how to change, how to become something great or something beautiful. There was only one thing you _did_ know.

You knew how to die. But not how to be reborn and live. There were so many things you wanted to ask her. So many things you wanted to say. But you bit your tongue till it bled and gave her a bloody smile. Because like she said you would you died. But you have yet to be reborn.

"**Once you do that my boy, you will learn to love with all your heart and embrace the beauty in life."**

For a long time you still feel like your mother betrayed you because you tried for so long to become something great. To become a better person then you were yesterday.

To love.

For a while you felt as dead as the gold fish your mother gave you and you forgot to feed for a week. When you betrayed Sakura and messed around you didn't feel the slightest tug in your heart. But your body did. Your cheek stung when she struck you in the face, but not your heart. In fact, on the inside you laughed at it all. You laughed at the look of fury on her face and especially the tears at the corner of her blazing eyes.

Your body spilled the tears when you called her, begging her to forgive you, but not you.

Never you.

Sometimes you think that you're a monster. A demon. Because every time you visit your mother in the hospital after a rather harsh beating you'd never utter a word of compassion or sadness.

Only words of hatred.

You can remember the look of slight fear in your mother's eyes when you sat before her in a rage. You can remember how she'd flinch when you spoke.

"I'll kill him." It was always a promise, never a threat. "I'll kill that bastard."

And she would try to assuage your anger, anything to get back her young loving son.

"It's the alcohol. He didn't mean to do it…he's still your father." She'd say softly. But like the horrible son you were you'd only crash every hope she had.

"He's not my father and I'm not his son." You'd hiss.

And your mother would cry silently because she knew as well as you did that you'd never be the same. Because your father destroyed you and so did she.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

You're twenty-seven when Sakura decides it high time for you to get clean. You couldn't disagree more.

"I'm putting you in rehab." Sakura tells you early one morning. You're out of the hospital but occasionally go back so that they could take a closer look at your eyes to see if they can somehow magically make your eyes start working and give you the ability to see again. But you're not holding your breath.

However you still have yet to get over your addictions and you're having a jolly good time going through detox. So naturally you're a bit irritated when she suddenly springs it onto you that she's sending you to the loony bin.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you roar. She must be enjoying this if she's not yelling back the sarcastic and sadist bitch.

"No I'm not." She shoots back. You open your mouth to yell some more but you hear her walk out of the room.

"Sakura?" you scream, "Sakura! Don't you fucking walk away from me!" you scream. But she has and you know that she won't come back until she sees improvement

**OoOoOoOo**

You remember the day your mother died. You remember the frightened look on her face as she laid, nothing but skin and bones with sunken in eyes and sunken in cheeks, in her hospital bed. She was scared, not frightened by the fact that she was leaving you in this cold world all alone but because of the fact that she was going to die.

She was going to die.

She…you're mother…was going to die.

You remembered how she reached out a bony hand and grasped yours in a grip as tight as a human skeleton could. Tears slipped down her cheekbones (they weren't even worthy to be called cheeks anymore) and her body shook from the sobs racking her body.

"Don't leave me." She sobbed to you. And you, you in your seventeen year old body and mind didn't hold her hand back. You didn't know what to do. Here lays the woman who stood by your father and protected you from him. Here lays the woman who carried you in her womb and brought you into the world. Here lays the woman who taught you how to crawl, walk, run, jump, talk. Here is the woman who hid you behind the couch from a crazed drunk father. Here is the woman who loved you.

Here lays the woman who failed you.

"Don't leave me." She continued to sob.

Here is the woman who walked passed your open bedroom door without a glance inside as her husband's mistress forced you to touch her.

Here lays the woman who watched as Iruka, Kiba and Akamaru in their fifteen and ten-year-old bodies stole you away from the house to protect you from her crazed husband and never lifted a finger to help. Here lays the woman who is prepared to leave you all alone.

Here lays the woman afraid of death.

Here lays the woman so afraid of death she is clinging to you and begging you, a seventeen year old boy, not to leave her in death's cold embrace.

You remember how her hospital gown seemed to swallow her whole, and how she barely made a dent in the hospital mattress.

You remember letting go of her hand and watched as her heart monitor began slowing down. You remember the look of betrayal in her eyes as you walked away from her still breathing body.

You remember leaving her all alone in her hospital bed to die.

**OoOoOoOo**

Leaning back in your chair, you prop an elbow up on one of the armrests then rested the side of your face against your open palm.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I'm twenty-seven, and I recently fucked a seventeen year old boy."

"Hello, Naruto." The watery eyed patients said those two words in unison causing you to crack a smile. It was like listening to a choir of sex addicted, alcohol drinking, drug abusing, child molesting angels. So it's no surprise to you that they never once bat an eye at your confessed adultery with a child.

**OoOoOo**

"A seventeen-year-old _boy_?" it's also no surprise that word came back to Sakura. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" she shrieks. "A little fucking boy! You had sex with a child!" you're pretty sure that if you could see she would have a disgusted look on her face. But you shrug your shoulders and just argue for the fun of it all.

"He came onto me first." You say, trying to hide your amusement.

"He's seventeen! Boys his age will come onto anything!"

"If it makes you feel any better he sucked me off when he was sixteen. And I've wanted him since he was fifteen." You're not helping the situation and you don't want to. You honestly had no plan. Everything is gone, your grandmother, your mother, Iruka, Kakashi, Kiba, Akamaru, your sight, Sakura's only with you through pity and necessity, and you don't know what to do. You only wanted to get away. So after a moment of stunned silence in which Sakura was trying to digest the sickening bomb you dropped on her you get up from the table you were sitting at and try to feel your way to the door. But once you thought that you were home free her whispered voice reaches your sensitive ears.

"Naruto…I'm getting married Naruto." Just as you had dropped a bomb on her she drops one back. You know what she's trying to say.

She can't take care of you. There won't be any room for you in her life. Not like when you were young. Back then with one phone call or one tear from you, she would come running to your aid because in her eyes you were someone who needed help, someone she held dearly to her heart and letting you suffer alone was never an option. But she's getting married now and she won't be there. Not anymore.

**OoOoOoOo**

You find that this is becoming tiresome. You sick of this pity and you're sick of being hurdled around like a sick sheep. You want out. But until the day of her marriage she's keeping you close to her. She won't let you go even though she says she will. And you find it pathetic. In your eyes, if you say you're gonna drop someone, you drop them. Not lug them around and make everything worse. Fuck the institute is better than this shit.

You need to get the fuck out of here.

So on a cold day you blindly search for the kitchen and lean on the side of the door. You can hear her moving about and you take the time to muster the most pathetic look on your face and call out to her.

"Sakura." You're cheering yourself on because you've accomplished making your voice seem sad and pathetic. "Sakura I need help."

When you feel the air shift and pity pours from her like a faucet you know you've won. You drop to your knees and pretend to cry.

"I need help." You pretend to sob. She runs to you and hugs you close and you know that everything is over.

You've won. This is your ticket out.

"Stop acting you fucking shit-head."

Everything comes to a screeching halt and you're left confused as shit. You feel her demeanor change and you are no longer facing a sad friend, but an angry woman who's known you for so long and has had enough of your shit.

It's on this day that you find out that Sakura knows you a hell of a lot more than you had first originally thought.

"I've known you long enough to know when you're acting, so stop pulling this shit on me." She hisses and you and slaps you so hard you go flying to the ground with your arms flailing about.

"I'm crippled here!" you shout but she snorts and you and drags you across the room.

"Stop stop! Rug burn rug burn!" you shout out but she doesn't stop and she eventually drops you by what you can only guess is the couch and helps you sink down into the cushions. You sit in silence for a while and in a moment of childish anger you pout. You don't want to be the first so speak.

"Naruto…look, I know you only called me to get away from something. I don't know if it's because of…well…" she trails off as if mentioning it would harm you. But you're pissed at her so you find ways to force her to say it.

"Just spit it out woman." you grumble.

"Kiba…or maybe that boy…but listen, I'm not going sit around and baby you. Look I'm going to cover your medical expenses and I'm going to put you in a good home."

"Fuck that." You cut her off with a snort, "Just send me to the loony bin, I'll be fine there." Honestly, 'a good home'? What does she think you are a fucking dog? You know she's choked up on her words and she's trying to stay strong.

"I'll.."

"Don't fucking promise me anything." you snap. Your world is all black and you have no room in you to be filled with false promises. It's bad enough that you won't be getting any drugs anytime soon.

"Okay Naruto. Okay."

**OoOoOoOo**

Sometimes, in the worst of times, you remember random things about your youth that were probably better off forgotten.

"_And who is this little thing?"_

"_Back off Uzumaki, she's not for grabs." Your blue eyes turn sharply to connect with white narrowed eyes._

"_Geez Hyuuga, lay off, was only just a joke." Neji snorted and pulled his blushing cousin away from you._

"_Keep it that way." You chuckled and pulled her back and wrapped your arms around her, trying and succeeding to irritate the over protective cousin, grinning at her squawk and Neji's look of rage._

"_But Neji! You can't expect me to stay away from something so cute!" you enjoy pissing him off and he knows it. Shy little Hinata, who is a month younger than you, blushes so hard that you let her go only because you're afraid she'll pass out._

"_Hands off Uzumaki." Neji says sternly. Akamaru laughs and pops in a piece of gum into his mouth, offering another to his twin._

"_Don't worry Neji, we'll help ya protect Hina for ya." Neji rolls his eye once again and leans against the wall of the building and nudges Sakura._

"_Shouldn't you keep better control on him" she snorts and pulls Hinata into her arms._

"_Well, you gotta admit Neji, Hinata _is_ far too cute. Even I have a hard time keeping my hands off." _

_You remember the way Hinata blushed, they way she buried her face into Sakura's shoulder to hide her embarrassed face, how her hair cascaded down her back and how she would wear such baggy clothes to hide, what you _knew_ was a wonderful body. You remember how no matter what Neji would be there, protecting her from evil men with bad intentions and jealous girls. You remember how panicked and distraught Neji was when she went missing one evening._

"_When was the last time you saw her?" Akamaru demanded. Neji, after he collapsed on the side walk looked like he was going to have a heart attack._

"_She said she left something in the school and to go on ahead because she wont take long. She said she'll be alright, she said she'll be alright." He repeated over and over. You slapped him hard in the face, trying anything to calm him down. But it never worked because his shy little precious cousin was missing and Neji knew that this world was filled with vile men who wanted his shy little cousin._

_You ran like a mad man around the whole town, breaking into the school and looking for clues. You would never forget the heavy feeling of hand cuffs on your wrists when the cops arrested you for breaking a window so you can scramble into the school at one in the morning to look for clues._

"_I'm looking for her!" you screamed to them. But they didn't listen._

_You remember the complete broken look on Neji's face when they asked __**him**__, not his uncle or Hinata's sister to identify her body._

_Her __**corpse.**_

_She was violated. They said, rapped, strangled and tortured._

_She didn't stand a chance._

"_She said she'd be alright. She promised. She promised. She said she'd be alright."Neji whispered. It was then that we realized that she was the only thing that kept him sane._

_Against the man who was filled with the things that Neji feared she stood no chance._

_But neither did the criminal because Neji became a monster the moment the police revealed the fucker who did it. And you, Kiba and Akamaru helped. Neji became the devil that night and you three the advocates._

"Naruto." The voice is sharp and irritated and it takes you only a split second to figure out that you had zoned out on group therapy. You look up with your broken blue eyes to where you're sure the voice came from and gave the councilor, who you're pretty sure doesn't give a rat's ass about societies lowest of the low, a shit-eating-grin.

"Yes doctor?" you say dramatically. You can hear fellow addicts chuckle under their breaths and you can practically hear their eye balls shift around in their sockets in pure paranoia.

"Do you have anything you want to share with us?" the councilor stresses at you.

"Why yes I do my good sir." You chirp because you know it serves to piss him off. You can hear the chair under him groan as he leans back on it and taps his pen to the clip board.

"Well then introduce yourself." He says with false patience.

You lean back again and tap your feet on the ground in mock enthusiasm.

"My name is Nartuo, I am a chronic liar, I'm constantly thinking about a seventeen year old boy and for that reason I am an addict." The others in the room open their mouths and like the broken angles they are, they sing.

"Hello Naruto."

**OoOOOoOooO**

**reviews show me that you're still with me and you all love me :D  
**


	5. Love Found In The Worst Way

**Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews I have gotten. A special thank you goes out to Iluminos, Junexity, and Narulov56 *huggles them***

**Just to clarify a few things first however. This story was originally a novel I was writing, meaning that this was originally not a fanfic. But after a while I decided to make it a fanfic after I wrote it. So if you ever see the words Mike or Mark or if Sasuke is ever referred to as a girl I apologize. I also apologize for any confusion I may have caused.**

**OoOoOoOo**

Sometimes you really wish Sakura would just take your hint and drop the subject of your eyes. Because you're tired of sitting in the same old hospital room hearing that same old heart monitor. You can help but shutter every time you even catch the scent of a hospital because it reminds you too much of your mother.

It's been a while since your last check up and you were sure that the moment Sakura got the call from the doctor you'd be shoved through the hospital doors. Today however you were thankfully spared from everything because Sakura left earlier to the doctor's office to have a talk about something urgent.. Something about a break through.

You couldn't care less.

You did however care about the way her footsteps sounded when you heard her running into the house.

She was so loud.

"Naruto, the doctors say that they may have a solution for your eyes!" she shouts as you cringe. You're sitting quite comfortably in the couch listening to the clock tick on and you fight the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up because you're ears are ringing and you're still not over your drug addiction.

"Oh really?" is all you say, more like drawl. You feel Sakura drop onto the seat next to you and give a slight jump at how she throws her arms around you, squeezing you into her embrace like she used to so many years ago.

"You can have your sight back!" she exclaims. You pat her arms mechanically because you're not all the way there.

Ha, as if you ever were.

**OoOoOoOo**

"_Sakura, Sakura I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."_

"_Save it Naruto. I don't want to hear it."_

_There was the sound of a sob over the phone._

"_No really Sakura. I'm so fucking sorry. It was the drugs. I'm sorry, they were too strong. I didn't even know her! I thought of you Sakura. Always you."_

"_You fucked some random woman at a party Naruto! How the fuck can you ask me for forgiveness? Aren't you ashamed?"_

_There was silence save for the sound of a fifteen-year-old boy sobbing into the phone._

"_Please Sakura please! Forgive me! I'm sorry I'm sorry! I don't know what else to do! You're the only one I have please!"_

"_Naruto…"_

"_Sakura! I love you Sakrua please please!"_

_There was a sharp intake of breath as the fifteen-year-old boy-_

_You._

_-dropped to your knees and hugged the phone closer._

"_Don't abandon me." You sobbed into the phone._

You roll over on your bed and try to block out the sound of the night so many years ago when you cheated on Sakura. It was that phone call that kept Sakura from dropping your ass and never coming back.

You remember how when after the phone call ended with her forgiving you and you sobbing, you looked into the mirror and saw your own blue eyes stare back at you. Your face was blotched red from both the alcohol and the exertion of tears. But your eyes were as dead as the day they broke. In those blue eyes of yours there was nothing. Even though there were tears on your cheeks and desperation in your voice.

There was nothing.

**OoOoOoOo**

You're twenty nine when you get your sight back. It took a shit load of therapy and an ass load of tests and shots. You're in your hospital bed after a long and grueling surgery and there's bandages wrapped around your eyes. You're not nervous because it never was you in the first place that wanted to look for a cure for your eyes; it was all Sakura's doing.

She pushed and shoved and you just sat patiently and waited for the end. She's sitting next to you and is wearing some form of perfume that seems so familiar yet different. Her hand seems smoother and thinner, but you just blame it on her nervousness or a new cream she's using. When you hear the doctor's foots steps and his voice your waiting is over. You feel him strip away the bandages but you don't feel anxious at all.

"It's gonna be okay Naruto." Sakura whispers to you.

"Okay Naruto, open your eyes."

When you do everything comes crashing down because your vision is nothing else but black and grey.

"Naruto?"

"What have you done?" you're mortified. Fuck you think, you were better off blind! At least then you knew that the skies were blue! When you turn your desperate eyes to Sakura you die a little inside. Because Sakura's eyes, which were one of the most beautiful shades of green were now as black as your soul.

"What have you done?" you shriek

**OoOoOoOo**

This time, it's her apologizing. This time it's her running to you sobbing. But you can't look at her. Because her eyes… they were black. And every time you look at the sky, that too would be pitch black. And her eyes, they were a constant reminder on how you can no longer see that beautiful green.

**Monochrome**: A condition of color-blindness, in which all colors are perceived as shades of grey.

That condition now belongs to you. Because of her. So you block out the image your eyes project to you. The image of her black eyes leaking tears all over the hospital bed and picture your world again, in color. You imagine the world you used to live in. The one where you're back on the school roof, shy little Hinata huddled next to strong bold Neji, Kiba and Akamaru laughing together about a joke no one else but them know about, secretive artist Sai, a coy smile on his lips as he draws crude pictures in various sizes and beautiful green eyed Sakura, holding your hand and smiling. In this world, fifteen year old Iruka is sitting next to you swatting playfully away Kakashi's hands when they creep closer and closer. In this colorful beautiful world, your mother is sitting in front of you with her beautiful eyes, smiling down at you. In this world your little sibling that was snatched so cruelly away from you was born, in this world the baby was a girl. A beautiful blue eye'd girl that looks exactly like her mother.

But then you open your eyes and all you see is black and grey.

And it kills you.

An hour later when Sakura finally knows that she's lost you to whatever world you've pulled yourself into, she leaves. Leaving you alone, in the cold, dark room. Outside, the skies were black. Inside the room, it was so dark even with the lights on. Darkness was your world. Darkness was your heart.

Black was your soul.

"**Once you do that my boy, you will learn to love with all your heart and embrace the beauty in life."**

You snort and imagine your world again.

"Fucking liar."

**OoOoOoOo**

"_Naruto, let's get out of here." Kiba, or maybe it was Akamaru, whispered to you, "Lets leave and never look back. Let's disappear." You sat still on the broken in couch your mother used to hide you behind when you were a child and vaguely responded._

"_Come on. It's time we all left this fucking place."_

_In the back of your mind you duly note that this is the first time in two weeks that you've seen the twins in the same room together. They had been tangled in a nasty situation. They both loved the same person. Shino was his name. He was a quiet one, sensible and apparently to them, the ONE._

_Kiba and Akamaru both wanted him, and they each had him. A triangle. But in the end it nearly tore the three of them apart. Especially the twins. You remember there had been a huge fight. The twins couldn't keep secrets among themselves because they shared everything. Apparently they found that one thing they both couldn't have. They both were selfish in their own right and they couldn't share Shino. It had been their first huge fight and in the end the twins chose each other over their lover._

"_Naruto." You nodded and began to rise from the couch._

"_Yeah." You swallowed and stood on shaking knees, "Lets go."_

**OoOoOoOoOo**

"_Its time to go." _

_You nodded and placed two roses on your mother's grave. One for her and one for the unborn sibling that died years ago. You were seventeen and the only family you had left was Kiba, Akamaru, Sakura and Sai._

"_Come on Naruto, we're leaving." Kiba said._

"_Where to?" you ask back climbing into the car._

"_Anywhere but here." The twins responded._

_A new home, a new world. It was frightening yet exciting._

_You pulled out your phone and dialed a familiar number._

"_Sakura? It's Naruto…we're leaving, you in?"_

_There was a moment of silence in the car._

"_Yes. No, we're not coming back. Yes. We are serious. Are you in?"_

_There was a long pause before you smiled._

"_Alright, we'll be right over to pick you up."_

_**OoOoOoOo**_

"_What'll happen?"_

_Sakura was the one who packed the most. She had a normal life, a normal family, the only true stain she had on her soul was associating with you. But she, in all her intelligence couldn't see that. But you could, and you kept your mouth shut._

_Her eyes were hesitant as she watched her house grow smaller and smaller, she stiffened and you saw she was about to speak out._

_Ask to turn back_

_And you, in a selfish fit, curled around her and covered her green hesitant eyes with your hands and spoke gently._

"_We'll be fine, we'll make it. We'll have our own lives to live Sakura. You, me, Kiba nd Akamaru. We cant do this alone, we need you."_

_You really are a demon aren't you?_

_You felt her body sag against you in relief and you smiled to yourself in victory._

"_Lets go to New York." One of the twins suggested. You shrugged and pulled Sakura into an unexpected kiss for the hell of it._

"_Alright." _

**OoOoOoOo**

"_Why are we doing this Naruto?" the question burned your ears but you continued to kiss down the column of Sakura's neck. She dug her nails into your eighteen year old body and allowed you to splay your fingers across her body._

"_Naruto?" she asks._

_If you were sane you would have given her so many reasons why you __**shouldn't **__be doing this._

_Because Akamaru killed himself a month ago._

_Because Kiba is practically as dead as his twin only with a working body that runs off drugs._

_Because Iruka would have been 23 and kakashi would have been 24 if they had still been alive._

_Because you finally admit to yourself that your mother's look of betrayal haunts you every minuet of the fucking day._

_Because Akamaru's death shows you just how quickly someone can turn a blade upon themselves and the next time you see them is in a fucking box._

_But you don't say any of that. You just spread her legs and settle between them._

"_Because," you end up saying, "there is no one else."_

**OoOoOO**

Sakura, who is a year older then you, gets married on a Friday. You don't attend because as soon as you find the invitation you tear it up.

You don't think you can ever forgive her. Because she turned your skies black and your clouds grey.

**OoOoOoOo**

You're thirty years old when you're let out of the asylum. There's not a scratch on you and you pride yourself over the fact that despite all of those endless hours of therapy and other counseling shit not once have you lost your head. You're a lost cause but you know how to play your words and your expressions so right that they release you because they believe that they have fixed you. So you walk out and find yourself on a bus heading in any direction. You don't care as to where you're going but you want to leave.

Everything that was once beautiful has taken on a shade of black or grey. But that's fine. You can cope. It's been a year after all.

**OoOoOoOo**

Life however seems to have a kick out of beating you senseless.

The bus had stopped at a gas station and you had gotten off and sat on a bench that leaned against the building awaiting the next stop. You have no idea where the hell you are and you don't know what state you're even in. You just hopped on the buss, looked the driver in the face and pulled out a wad of cash and pushed it in his hands.

"Get me out of here." Is all you said before the driver with his black and white face nodded and directed you to a seat.

And that leaves you in an unknown state in an unknown city. It was snowing and you watched as the white tuffs of snow fell to the ground. Everything was in black and white, the sky was black and so was everything else. Sometimes, you catch the hint of color. The doctor had said that color may one day return to your eyes with proper care but you left in the middle of your sessions with the doctors to run away. But you always disregard the hint of color that sometimes bleeds into your vision; because as suddenly as they come, it all disappears leaving you with the foul taste of longing.

And it's happening right now. The bench you sit on has the slightest hint of brown. Had you have actually given a rats ass you would have stayed and let the doctors help you regain the full usage of your eyes. But you're a selfish creature and you wanted out. So you left.

"Did you know? It's my birthday today."

Your body feels like there are thousands of needles stabbing you and your head feels stuffy. Your legs begin to shake and you feel like you cant move.

How long had you been sitting here anyway? Your broken eyes try to find the source of the voice and when it does you let out a breath you never knew you were holding.

"Sai." And he's there. You can hardly look at him because he looks so much like-

"Yes, it's me." He said haughtily, a coy smile on his lips, "No present? Honestly what friend are you."

You chuckle and run a hand through your blond hair. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back in New York?" he smiles again and plops down next to you, digging into his bag and pulling out a sketch book, seemingly uncaring of the snow falling onto the paper.

"Mmm, perhaps I was looking for an old friend." He says, sticking out his tongue to catch the snow flakes.

"How did you find me?" you ask genuinely curious. He chuckles and pulls out what you guess is a pen and begins to sketch.

"What makes you think I'm looking for you?" he asks. You shake your head and lean back, catching the smallest glint of blue on his hat.

You stay with him in silence before he rips out his note book paper, crumpling it in his hands. He stands up and holds out a hand to you.

"Well?" he asks, a glint in his eyes. "You coming or not?"

**OoOoOoOo**

"_My name is Sai."_

_You look up at him in surprise. He was standing close to you with pale alabaster skin, dark eyes and black hair. The silky strands were neatly styled, the tips of brushing ever so softly against his ears. His clothes were neat with not one wrinkle, but only one thing marred his perfect physic, paint of various colors stained his clothes and hands._

_You nod at him warily, "Naruto." He gave you a mysterious smile and handed you a box of band-aids._

"_Had fun playing with the big boys?" You give him a harsh glare and rip one of the band-aids open._

"_Fuck off."_

_He tilted his head to the side and watched you wipe the blood off your face. You didn't know who he was and that made you suspicious. You were classified as the "bad boy" the "trouble maker" everything a student shouldn't be. So why was this perfect looking kid even considering getting within five feet of you?_

"_My therapist encourages me to find friends."_

_Well that explained it._

_But right when you were about to tell to fuck off and find some other poor soul to deal with his strange bullshit, he suddenly smiled, a smile you could see was almost perfect had it not been for those blank eyes, and handed you a rolled up paper._

"_I want no one else."_

_When you unrolled the paper hours later in your room you smile because it's a colorful, almost real looking painting of you and your friends. In the corner of the paper, almost too small to see is a phone number._

**OoOoOoOoO**

You're thirty years old when you enter Sai's apartment. You don't give much thought into anything and tonight wasn't much different. You let him strip you bare and you don't voice a protest. But he doesn't even touch you like you expected. Instead he takes a brush and dips it into some sort of paint, colors you can't see, and he paints your flesh.

"I'll give you color." He whispers to you, "Just like before." He places the brush into your hand and you see so many paint buckets uncapped around the room.

He presses himself close to you and whispers ever so softly.

"Paint me Naruto. Bring back your colors." You don't know how he knew you couldn't see color. But you dip your paint brush into a random can and paint his lips. The room was so dark and the moon shone white, but the paint you place on his lips you can see so fucking clearly.

A soft pink.

The color of Sasuke's lips.

When you're done you tilt your head just the right way and suddenly it's not Sai you're looking at anymore.

It's Sasuke with his pale skin, black eyes and soft petal colored lips.

You know it's an illusion. If the world were in color it would just be Sai with pink lips. But god help you did he look so much like Sasuke.

And this is when he lets you press him down to the bed. He opens himself to you and lets you fuck him. He may not have been you're close friend in your youth but he'll do.

Because Kiba is gone.

Akamaru is gone.

Sakura is gone.

Neji is gone.

Hinata is one.

And you left Sasuke behind.

Who's left but him?

**OoOoOoOo**

**_"Oi, Sai, the gang and I are leaving this place…you in?"_**

_There was the sound of soft breathing over the phone before the person in question answered without hesitation._

**"…_Good bye Naruto..."_**

_And the line went dead._

**OoOoOoOo**

In the morning when you wake up Sai and all his cans of color is gone. On the nightstand beside the bed is a ticket back to New York and a picture of Sasuke. And on the pillow Sai had once laid on is the bag you handed off to the girl during the fire. You stare at it for a long time, almost afraid to even move for the fear that it would disappear. When you finally snap into action the bed jostles with your sudden movements.

You rip open the bag and see the two shoe boxes that has the history of your whole life. Tears roll down your checks when you bring the only picture that had the whole gang together.

In the picture, you're leaning against the wall, a happy grin on your face. Sakura is next to you with her arm around a scowling Neji who is glaring daggers at Kiba who has his arm around Hinata and Akamaru. You dig deeper into the bag and spot that small painting Sai presented to you the day you met him. The colors were faded but the perfectly painted smiles weren't.

You hold the bag close and cry because Sai left a note in colors, colors of which you can now see.

"_Sasuke is waiting for you at New York_

…_Goodbye Naruto…"_

For the rest of the day you laugh and cry at the pictures and videos you and your friends made together. At first you had hated how the twins would chase you around with a camera, sometimes taking pictures sometimes making videos. You find the old beaten up camcorder Kiba and Akamaru had been so proud of and hook it up to the Tv. The screen is black before it blares to life, the twin's joyful voices blaring from the speakers.

"_Come on man! Say something!"_

"_Get that fucking thing out of my face Kiba!"_

"_Haha it's Akamaru not Kiba!"_

"_Whoever it is get that damn thing away!"_

"_Awww, are you shy Naru-Naru?"_

"_Fuck you!"_

"_haha!"_

The screen went black before coming back to life.

"_Okay it's rolling! Go! Go!"_

Hinata's shy face flashes on the screen and she clenches her eyes closed, her face beat red.

"_Um, Um, My name is Hinata Hyuuga, um, I'm fourteen and I have a little sister Hanabi, I like flowers and butterflies, I love gardening and I-"_

"_Are you terrorizing my cousin again?"_

"_Run Kiba! Neji's found us!"_

"_I thought Sai was watching the door!"_

"_Where the hell is Naruto!"_

"_Neji wait! We weren't doing anything honest! Tell him Hina!"_

"_Hahaha"_

"_Why the hell are you tickling her Sakura?"_

"_So she cant answer."_

"_Neji wait!"_

"_Nooooooo!"_

The screen went blank and the room was shaking with the force of your sobbing laughter before it blinked back into life.

"_Well?" c_ame one of the twin's expectant voice.

"_Argh! FINE!" _there was a series of giggles and the camera was placed on the floor and the faces of Naruto, Neji, Hinata, Sakura, Sai, Kiba and Akamaru showed on the screen.

"_My name is Uzuamki Naruto and when you see this remember one thing!"_

They all shouted to the camera at once. Grins on their faces.

"_YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!"_

The TV when black.

You sat on the couch with the photos and other videos beside you.

A smile was on your lips even though you were sobbing like a baby. You picked up the remote and began replaying that same scene again and again. That shout of youth that you all shared at one point.

"_My name is Uzumaki Naruto and when you see this remember one thing!"_

"_YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!" _

"_My name is Uzumaki Naruto and when you see this remember one thing!"_

"_YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!"_

"_My name is Uzumaki Naruto and when you see this remember one thing!"_

"_YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!"_

**OoOoOoOo**

**Review please!**


	6. Hate Me

**Sorry for the wait, things have been hectic.**

**OoOoOoOo**

You stare long and hard at the blinking screen, the video still going but with no images recorded into the tape. It was the last one the twins had recorded into and they hadn't been able to fill the whole tape. Your hands lay motionless and your eyes never wavering. Your phone is and has been for a long time, silent.

Has Sakura forgotten you? No, she'd never forget, but does she forgive? Yes she does forgive. But has she forgiven _you_?

You find that you don't have an answer, and it doesn't surprise you anymore because you've never been able to figure anything out on your own.

You've been sitting on this couch for fuck knows how long and you know you haven't eaten in over a day. What's taking you so long you wonder. In that room, on that desk lays the ticket back to New York.

Back to Sasuke.

And that thought alone makes your once steady heart race. The whole night you thought of him, that alabaster skin and dark eyes, glazed over with desire.

You shake your head and try to dislodge the unforgotten want for the young boy. Every day you spent awake was filled with thoughts of him. Every moment you spent dreaming was overloaded with dirty images, dreams filled with him and sounds you know was forbidden.

Your phone then suddenly beeps, thankfully interrupting your thoughts. You reach over and see that you have a message.

"_Get moving."_

**OoOoOoOoOoOo**

_You sat in your car motionless, the haunting blue eyes of your mother tormenting you. You couldn't describe the horrid feeling in the bottom of your heart that bubbled up the moment you walked away from your dying mother only minutes ago. You barely noticed when your car door was gently opened and a body slipped into your passenger seat._

_Your world was slowly crumbling._

_When you felt a hand on your shoulder you turned with dull eyes._

_It was Sai and his dark eyes. He nodded to you and reached over you and turned the keys in the ignition and started the engine._

"_Get moving."_

**OoOoOoOo**

Laughter finds its way from your throat and you get up and grab your things, taking one glance at the ticket to New York. You picked it up with gleaming eyes and without another thought and a break in your heart:

You tear it up.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

A week later finds you hesitating to step out of the car. There's a girl who was nice enough to pick your hitch-hiking ass off the road and into her car. She sits seductively in the driver's seat, a cigarette hanging from her fingers. She picked you up four days ago and has been driving you to where you needed to go; for a price of course, and you had no problem lifting her skirt and giving her payment whenever she demanded it. You didn't mind because she had black hair and dark brown eyes with a pretty pink mouth.

But now that you've reached your destination and you have half a mind to just turn to her, fuck her once more and tell her to get you the hell out of here. But instead she blows you a kiss and kindly tells you to get the fuck out because she needs to leave.

Ha, as if you hadn't heard that one before. So you do, taking a deep breath you get out and sling your backpack over your shoulder, catching the slight whiff of burnt wood coming off it. With one last kiss to your lips she drives off, her small car becoming nothing more than a small red dot as she drove farther and farther away.

And then you feel it, creeping up the back of your neck and griping your throat with icy fingers. With a chill in your heart you slowly turn around, putting your back to the other outside world and facing the tiny horrible town your life was fucked over by. This was the town you grew up in. This is the town who's cemetery holds the bodies of your mother, Iruka, Kakashi, and Hinata.

This is the town that still harbor's your father's pathetic self.

**OoOoOoOo**

Their graves seemed as though they were untouched. The grass was nicely cut but the grave stones were bare, as if the moment you, the twins and Sakura left, the graves were forgotten, becoming nothing more than a simple stone bearing the names of your once loved ones in the ground and a coffin buried deep within the earth. And you tried to compensate that by leaving small tributes. And by small tributes you mean the flowers you stole from the flower stand just down the road. You sat before each grave, tracing the lines carved into the head stones for an hour each, giving them all the respect they deserved. And when night fell you knew that it was time.

A humorless grin came to you and you approached the house you've always hated; the house that harbored more than enough of your bad memories. You walked up the stone steps and without knocking or hesitating, you kicked open the door gently and your eyes landed on the most pathetic thing you've ever seen.

There on the floor, curled around a bottle lay your father.

The one who ruined you.

When his glazed eyes lands upon you he smirks, ( a smirk that is so fucking similar to yours and you know that if you looked into the mirror with that smirk you'd see no one else but your father) crooked decayed teeth on full display.

"Welcome home son." He mockingly rasps, almost as if he hadn't used his voice in years. You don't rise to his bait and you stay in the door frame, standing still and tall. You feel as if nothing had changed. Years ago, when you were only a teenager you recall entering this house in the same fashion, seeing him lay there, his eyes, always cloudy staring back at you as if you were to blame for everything.

You remembered a time when you were five, a time when your grandmother Tsunade was still alive and drugs and alcohol seemed to be the furthest thing from your father's mind. You remembered how you'd stand in front of your father, a dopy grin on your lips and blond hair bopping up and down. You remember your mother with her soft smiles and unblemished skin, giggling as you paraded around, acting like the prince your father said you were. You remember standing tall, puffing out your chest with pride when your father ruffled your hair; grandma Tsunade and her loud gruff voice calling out to you, telling you that when you grew up you'd be the best damn thing this world has seen.

But that is all gone because grandma Tsunade is dead and so is your mother. And the man that once picked you up and held you close when the monsters in the closet peeked their evil red eyes through the crack of your dark closet is gone. Gone is the man that kissed you goodnight and tucked you into bed extra tight so that the monster under your bed couldn't pull you under.

You shake your head and reach into your pocket, fingering what you knew were the ripped up pieces of the plane ticket Sai bought you.

Your father stares at you long and hard, shaggy unkept hair pooling onto the floor. He wriggles around for a bit before sitting up, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a long swig.

"What brings you 'ere." He smirks again and reaches over to a discarded bag of what you can tell are stale chips. He pops one into his mouth and chews it a bit. "Come to tell me you hate me?" he sneers. But you shake your head and take a deep breath, shuddering at the rancid smell that assaults your nose, and walk through the thresh hold. He freezes and his eyes go wide when he sees that you're advancing towards him.

"Get back!" he shrieks, "Don't fucking touch me!" but you keep coming. He scrambles backwards, back hitting that old familiar beaten up couch. But you don't look at him, you walk right by without another thought. You reach the old creaky stair case and begin your ascent to the room you haven't seen in over thirteen years. You reach the room you once vacated and gently push it open.

Absolutely nothing has changed about it and that shocks the hell out of you. Everything is kept the same, the bed was still undone, the clothes were still strewn about the room, the dresser drawers were still open and messy, and the old crinkled with time posters were still hanging on. It was as if you had only left for a little while. But one look at the dust covering almost every surface is enough to tell you that this room hasn't been touched in many years.

The door creaks as you push it open a little wider and walk calmly over to the old trunk in the corner of the room.

**OoOoOoOo**

"_Surprise!"_

_A surprise it was, Iruka, Kakashi, Kiba and Akamaru burst out of the trunk, grins on their faces despite the tight fit they were obviously in. the twins scrambled around to get out, grins on their faces and tiny presents in their hands. You jumped back give them an apologetic look because you were only ten years old and you're having a hard time even trying to smile. The twins pat you on the back and Kakashi helps Iruka out of the trunk. Iruka, who is fifteen at the time, gives you a kiss on the forehead (Like your father used to once upon a time) and Kakashi, who usually has little to say if he's not teasing, pulls you into a warm hug._

_Then Iruka and the twins join in and they whisper to you because it's two in the morning and your father just got done passing out._

"_Happy birthday Naruto."_

**OoOoOoOo**

You smile softly for the first time in so long. You change your direction and head over to your bed because you remember curling up in it with Iruka sleeping on your right and Kakashi on the left. When you reach it you frown because the bed seemed to be free of any dust. Cautiously you reach down and touch the mattress.

It's warm.

**OoOoOoOo**

"You're leavin again?" he stays far away from you but doesn't take his eyes off you for one second. You keep your back to him because you don't know what to say. And even if you did you there would be no use in talking. He's leaning against the door frame and watches as you hoist your bag over your shoulder once more, knowing full well that this will be the last time he'd ever see you. He shifts his feet a bit, as if there was something he wanted to tell you but is struggling. And you turn towards him and give him a blank stare.

"I'll say it," you begin, "Goodbye." And you reach the door he suddenly speaks.

"It hurt." He blurts out, shifty eyes filled with something you couldn't quite place. You stop moving all at once and you turn to listen because honestly, you haven't heard this tone of voice in twenty five years.

He places a shaky hand on his chest, a little above his heart. "When you stabbed me…it hurt." He licks his lips and wrings his fingers. "I miss my son." He chokes out, eyes watery "I miss the little boy I used to carry on my shoulders, I miss the boy I used to read to, I miss the boy I used to tuck into at night." His voice was unsteady and his face was a canvas of wild emotions. "I miss his mother, the woman that I used to hold at night, the one that I kissed, the one that I fucking loved." And then he collapses to his knees and cries.

"You both were so afraid of me. And I couldn't stop. You never stopped me Naruto. They told me you would, that you both would stop me. But neither of you did. You let me hit her Naruto, Tsunade said that you would. She told me you were going to be the strongest person that has lived. Why didn't you stop me? God why?"

You have no idea what he was talking about because when everything had begun Grandma Tsunade was already dead. But you listen and watch him break down. And you pull off your back pack and reach in to retrieve the only copy of you, your mother and father. You approach him and place it next to him and knock the bottle from his hand.

"My father is dead," you say to him and then you lightly tug his hair like he used to do to you when you were four, "And your son is dead." He doesn't respond and you stay for a while before getting up. And without another word you leave.

**OoOoOoOo**

"_Will you miss me daddy?" you were four years old and your mother was taking you to Grandma Tsunade's house because Mother had to go visit her family in Oregon and father had to work, so Grandma Tsunade offered to watch you._

_He hugs you close and tugs your hair._

"_Of course I will," he laughs "I'll miss you so much, I'll sleep in your bed to keep the monsters from invading." _

"_You're too big for my bed!" he laughs and ruffles your hair._

"_Yes yes, now give me a goodbye kiss."_

**OoOoOoOoOo**

You're sitting on a bench a little ways away from your home town, trying but failing to get your thoughts in order and it's getting to the point where you're starting to wonder why you even try.

"I guess Sai was right, you would be here."

And hearing that makes you want to burst into frustrated tears. Because he's standing before you, a fluffy sweater wrapped around what you know is a dainty neck, a hat covering the top of his head with a nice fitting coat and legs miles long covered with some form of material and boots.

You avoid looking him in the face because you want, so very badly, to believe that this is some sick fucking joke.

"I'm twenty years old now." he says and you know what he's alluding to. "I'm not a child anymore."

"What are you doing here?" you snap. You raise your eyes a little to see his lips curl into a smirk.

"Isn't it funny?" he asks as if he never heard your question. "How small this world actually is?" and you glare at him and try not to think about how pink his lips are.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Sai's my cousin."

And your world stops.

"He gave me a plane ticket to this place and said I'll find something interesting." And then he reaches down and takes your hand into his, whispering into your ear.

"And I did."

You don't know what to think anymore and you want to scream in pure frustration.

_Goddamn it._

**OoOoOoOo**

He's twenty years old. No longer the young child you remember seeing through the haze of drugs behind a Seven-Eleven. He's all grown up and filled out in all the right places. His eyes are an endless shade of black with dark onyx colored hair. His lips are a shade of pink and his skin is a flawless and pale. He's a head shorter than you with a waist that has the smallest hit of curves. You want him so fucking bad.

And it kills you.

**OoOoOo**

He never stops wanting you. No matter what it is that you do or say he still comes back. He took you back to New York and into his flat, a nice cozy home with a small fire place and beautiful oak doors and nice coffee table and sparkling counters. The flat was neat and tidy with small decorations here and there. When he walks in front of you, you try not to stare shamelessly at his ass, but can't help yourself.

You're thirty years old when you break and give into temptation and with an animalistic roar, throw him up against those sparkling counters, nice oak doors, cute small coffee table and fuck him till he can't walk anymore. He shouts his pleasure to the world as you sink deep within him, going in and out again and again.

You're thirty years old when you find that you're beginning to hold him at night and listen to his heartbeat sing you a lullaby.

You're thirty when he kisses you one morning and tells you that you have no choice in the matter, you belong to him.

You're thirty when he finds the back pack and sits down on the couch and watches the videos, a look on his face you cant describe.

You're thirty years old when he kisses you, black eyelashes damp with tears, whispering words of regret that should have been yours. It's your undoing in the end because you begin to cry. You cry and scream and he holds you, whispering into your ear and watches as the cold doll persona you had trapped yourself in died away.

It all pours from you and he holds you through it all. It's been a while and yet you still feel like you're so fucking high on drugs. But he was the antidote and he was slowly purging you from your drug induced state.

And for once you sleep soundly dreaming of Kiba and Akamaru with their endless laughter, of Sakura and her headstrong caring self, of Hinata and her shy and soft eyes, of Neji and his strong protective self, of Iruka and his mother hen like tendencies and Kakashi with his perverted wisdom. Of Grandma Tsunade with her strong hands. And of your mother and her gentle embraces. And even of your father and his once gentle grins. Of him and his twenty year old self.

And of the boy you used to be, who used to look upon the world with a gentle smile.

**OoOoOo**

**The end! :D**

**There will be side stories and if I'm feeling up to it a little ****EPILOGUE.**

**Please review!**


	7. Everything Is Okay

**Okay, here's the other alternate ending, my friend requested that it takes on a more…happier edge… something I don't think I'm good at unfortunately haha. Oh by the way, I know I explained this before in an earlier chapter but I'll say it again to clear up any confusion, this story was originally a novel I was writing, meaning that this was originally not a fanfic. But after a while I decided to make it a fanfic after I wrote it. So if you ever see the words Mike or Mark that's in reference to Kiba and Akamaru, if Sasuke is ever referred to as a girl that too is a typo. In the beginning Neji was mentioned as Sasuke's friend, I apologize for that one too, I had originally meant to cast Sasuke's friend as Suigetsu, but I simply forgot to change it. I apologize for any confusion I have created.**

**This one starts out the same way but it has a much different ending.  
**

**Anyway, onto the story!**

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

_"Do you think that in the future everything will be okay?" you open your eyes and turn your head to see Akamaru looking up at the blue sky, amber eyes taking a light you've only seen in movies. Kiba stood beside him, taking in the warm sun as it beat upon his face._

_"What do you mean?" you ask, shifting a bit and watched as Neji smiled down warmly at his small cousin as she played with Sai's paints._

_"Do you think that in the future, everything that's so messed up will right itself?" he asks, "Do you think we'll be free?"_

_you smile lazily when Sakura began to hum gently while brushing her fingers through Hinata's hair; Sai chuckling as he drew in his sketch book things you know he'll never show. Neji's face turned peaceful and he sighed when his baby cousin began to hum as well._

_"Sure it will Akamaru, and we'll share the freedom together." you respond finally, basking in the small moment the seven of you were having on the roof of the school, "I promise."_

_You were only fifteen and had big dreams of a wonderful life with your friends, a dream filled with hopes of the happiness you wished so desperately to obtain._

_Kiba enveloped his brother in a hug and pulled him towards Hinata to play with the paints and you look at them with a happy swell in your heart. Hinata smiles at you when she sees you looking._

_"I promise."  
_

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_Hinata is gone." He says emotionlessly, eyes blank._

_You tremble but try anything in your power to stop him from exploding._

"_I know Neji, Hinata is gone." you say, probably not the best choice of words you could have come up with but you don't know what to do anymore._

"_He took her from me." He says, voice rising into hysterics, "He fucking took her and used her! He broke her! He killed her!"_

"_Neji Calm down!" you shout back, holding his arms behind his back, the twins on each side of him grab a hold of his shoulders, trying anything to calm him down._

"_He fucking killed her Naruto!" he screams, "I'll kill him Naruto, I'll fucking kill him!"_

"_Neji!"_

"_This won't bring her back!"_

_And then his body sags against our arms, face contorting into an expression you've only seen on broken people._

"_I know I can't bring her back, but I can avenge her," he whispers to the three of you, "Help me kill him, help me avenge Hinata."_

_You remain quiet and see silent message that only the twins are capable of creating pass through them._

"…_I'll help you." You say first, watching as Neji's eyes become brighter._

_Deadlier._

"_Us too." One of the twins agree._

"_We'll kill him." The other says._

_With hesitation put from your body, mind and soul, you let go of Neji and let the rage he was feeling consume him and eventually fill you and sink to your bones._

"_For Hinata." You tell him._

**oOoOoOoOo**

"_Naruto, please, I'm begging you, stop."_

_Sakura cries into your hands but you don't acknowledge her. How could you when your vision is hazy and all you can see are blurred shapes. She should know better than to try to talk to you when you just got done pumping lethal drugs into your system._

_And you shrug her off, pushing her away and standing to your feet, swaying every now and then._

"_Fuck off," you sneer at her, reaching for your needles once again._

"_Stop it!" she screams, knocking them from your trembling hands. It takes you a moment to process the fact that your precious items are gone and shattered on the ground._

_Sakura, who is just beginning her karate lessons, fights only to defend as you try to beat her bloody. But in the end it's you that gets your ass handed to you._

_And when Kiba stumbles through the door, eyes just as glazed with drugs as yours were, she screams in frustration._

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

"_My name is Akamaru, this is my brother, his name is Kiba. We're twins."_

_You were only six years old and you escaped the house to get away from your mother's fear filled screams when a pair of identical looking kids found you hiding in the bushes below their window._

"_What's your name?" one of the brothers asks._

_But you didn't answer because you are trying to decide which one to look at. They stare at you with big eyes filled with an innocence that you once possessed._

_It makes you a bit jealous._

"_Want to come with us?" they ask, "We have games in our room, do you want to play?"_

_You think back to the house you ran from, of your mother you know is being beaten, of the man you once ran to when you were scared._

"_Playing is for children," you finally say, trying anything to resist the urge to go with them and ignore all that was wrong in your small world._

_You watch in confusion when they suddenly smile, a twisted quirk of their lips._

"_We know," one of them said, "we were testing you," they say._

_And you watch the innocence drain from their eyes._

"_We don't like children," they say, "but we like you, your eyes are like ours." The other says._

_They hold their hands out to you with twisted smiles on their faces._

"_Nice to meet you Naruto."_

_You don't know how to respond because you've never once told them your name._

"_Nice to meet you too."_

_The lot of you were only six years old and yet were forced to watch the horrors of the sick world you all lived in._

_You three were the best of friends._

**oOoOoOoOo**

"_Fuck, it hurts it hurts." You hiss as you crouch behind a fence, pulling out shards of glass from your tiny hands with nothing but your dirty fingernails._

"_Fucking bastard, I'll kill him." You mutter to yourself, watching the blood run down your fingers. You flinch when you press a little too hard and a piece cuts even deeper. "Shit!"_

"_Need help?" you look up in shock and the first thing you see is a masked face topped with white hair._

"_Did you fall?" he asks. You shake your head and try to scramble away, heart beating wildly. The man shrugged and stuck his hands into his pockets, a lazy look on his face._

_You were eight years old and you were already learning how to deal with gashes on your body._

"_Kid," he began._

"_I'm not a kid!" you shout at him._

"_Come here."_

_And then he turned on his heel and began to walk away. Confused you watched him go. And when you could no longer hear his foot falls you breathe a bit easier, ignoring the clenching feeling in your heart._

_And then there was a sound of movement and the next thing you know he's there again, that same lazy but sharp look on his face as he hoists you up and over his shoulders._

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing you-!"_

"_Maa, Maa, if you use that language around Iruka you'll find yourself I a coma."_

"_What?"_

_You spend a good ten minuets thrashing and clawing, trying anything to get away before deciding it was no use trying to get away from this crazy guy. You listen to the quiet 'tap, tap' of his feet as they fall upon the pavement as he carried you to an unknown destination. Briefly the thought that he was going to kill you then bury your body floated through your mind but you shrugged it off because you found that you didn't care. You frowned when you noticed you were dripping blood all over his hair, skin and shirt._

"_Where are you taking me?"_

"_Somewhere."_

"_Where?"_

"_You'll see."_

_And then he approached a house he walked up the steps and kicked open the door. It swung open, cracked at the hinges, he waltzed in and you take a look around, taking in the scent of something sweet. He walked up the stairs and you see as he raps his knuckles harshly against a door. It swung open and you see a pair of big brown eyes._

"_Kakashi! What?"_

_And then you were thrust into a warm chest._

"_I got you a lost puppy." He, whom you now know is called Kakashi chirps._

_You look up into the face of a gentle looking guy, a scar across the bridge of his nose and hair pulled into a ponytail._

"_He's not a dog!" he snaps, slapping Kakashi none too gently over the head, "You kicked open the door again didn't you? Kakashi! How many times have I told you-!"_

"_If you didn't want me kicking down the door you should stop locking your widows-."_

"_I would if you would stop climbing through them and ungodly hours of the night and molest me-!"_

"_Maa, I can't help it if I get needy sometimes, Iruka's body just calls to me-."_

"_Shut it!"_

_And then those brown eyes connected with your baby-blues, as if remembering there was a child in his hands. "Ah, sorry, my name is Iruka, nice to meet you." You watch as those gentle eyes drift to the subtle dripping of blood that fell from your hands. "Let's get you cleaned up."_

_That was the day you met Iruka Umino and his boyfriend, Kakashi Hatake._

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

_"Naruto, come here." she whispers to you, holding out a slender hand, one you were hesitant to take. _

_she was your father's whore and you hate everything about her._

_her eyes take on a sharper edge and you try not to show her the fear that you feel ripping through you. You walk reluctantly towards her and let her sit you down next to her. You try to shake away the sick feeling gripping you and try to ignore the scent of her musk. She takes your hand and you look away as she glides it up her skirt._

_You try anything not to cry._

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

It was late at night when you decide to make one last attempt at stopping the pain of the memories.

He (if you believed in god you'd say 'bless his soul') was sound asleep in bed and you stood on the balcony that was connected to his huge set of windows.

You stare at the quiet city down below without any ounce of fear. In your hand you hold a gun heavy with bullets. You smile and climb up onto the ledge, stopping to take a deep breath and try to find any reason to not do what you're planning to do.

But you could only see his face.

He'll be pissed, you know it. And if you survived, not that you're planning to, he'd probably beat the shit out of you till the end of time, then kiss the hurt away with those sinful lips.

You know he'll probably cry. You don't want that. You want him to not even blink an eye at your death. But you know that's not possible because you know he loves you so very much.

But you need to do this; you need to show him nothing good will come from loving you so much. He's too young, he has his whole life ahead of him; a life he'll waste with a piece of shit that is you.

Ever so briefly you wonder if he will hate you. You hope he does because it'll make it so much easier for him to move on.

Because if the shot won't kill you the fall will.

So you take a deep breath once again and put the gun to your head, unlocking the safety, hands and heart steady.

You wonder if your smile is a pretty as it feels.

With one last look at the world that created the mess that was you-

-you pull the trigger

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_I hope this never ends."_

"_Me neither."_

"_I agree."_

"_Count me in on that one."_

"_Hm."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Ah, look who it is."_

"_Is that Naruto?"_

"_It is!"_

"_Woah, what the hell happened to you?"_

"_You look like shit man!"_

"_Are you okay?"_

"_I told you to take it easy, why don't you ever listen?"_

_Is this some kind of sick joke? It must be._

_Because everyone, everyone, is standing before you, looks of concern on their faces._

_Kiba and Akamaru are standing, side by side a little ways from you._

_Sakura is standing near them, her gentle eyes watching your every move as you slowly begin to panic._

_Hinata is there too, giving you a worried look. She's tucked close to Neji's side, who is stroking her hair in an act to calm his tiny cousin._

_Sai is sitting on the floor, paints spread around him._

_Grandma Tsunade is there too, sitting on an oh so familiar couch, amber eyes tough as nails yet gentle as flowers._

_And standing before you is your mother and father, with their gentle faces and warm hands._

"_Are you okay sweetie?"_

_No you weren't. Because you don't know what the fuck is going on._

_The room, if it's even a room, you don't see any walls, was splashed in white._

_You look down and see that your feet are bare, and there was soft grass under your feet, you wiggle your toes a bit, trying to piece together what the fuck has happening._

_Nearly everyone here was dead and everyone else disappeared._

_So why were they all standing before you?_

_Red suddenly invades your vision. You see droplets of blood splash onto your feet and the grass._

_You reach up slowly and touch your forehead and bring your fingers to the front of your eyes to examine them._

_It's blood._

_So did blow your brains out._

_You look up into your parent's faces._

"_I'm dead." You croak._

_A look of regret splashes their faces and they nod._

"_Yes sweetie you are." You mother whispers._

"_Then this must be heaven." You mutter._

"_No honey, this isn't heaven." You mother responds._

"_Then where am I? This can't be hell because you wouldn't be here; there shouldn't be any reason for you to be here in this disgusting place."_

"_This is your world." You father tells you, his face youthful again, hair neatly styled, like yours, teeth full and white like they once were, "The world you've always wanted."_

_You hear laughter and you see you as a child, eyes big and bright chasing after butterflies, another older you in a bright blue pond, chasing frogs._

_You look around once more, taking in the faces of every person that meant so much to you._

"_I'm sorry." Were the only two words that left your lips, "I'm so sorry, I failed I failed each one of you."_

_And they watch as you break apart, blood pouring from your head, soaking your feet in a small puddle._

"_Forgive me." You plead._

"_No."_

_Your eyes snap up, pain searing through your chest, consuming and slowly killing you._

_It was the twins, standing beside you, hard looks in their eyes._

"_No." they repeat._

_And you look down to find that in your hand you hold the bloody gun._

"_Look at yourself." Sakura tells you softly, stepping closer and closer, "Look at what you've done."_

_And you do, scattered and bathing in your blood are countless bottles and needles, bags and pounds upon pounds of drugs soaking up your blood and turning it black. It seeps up your toes and invades your heart._

_Your knees feel weak and you draw so many conclusions as to what was happening._

"_I'm in hell." You whimper._

"_No." Neji responds, shaking his head._

"_You're not in hell you idiot," your grandmother tells you, "We're in your head, you're creating this."_

"_You need to let go." Sai tells you, abandoning his paint in favor of picking up his coat._

"_You need to let us go." The twins tell you._

"_Stop dwelling on the past and move on." Your father adds._

"_Get moving."_

_Then they all smile and hold up their hands and shove you backwards._

_You watch on as they all shatter into pieces, and for once you're not scrambling to pick them all up._

_Your mother's words echo in your head._

"**Today is the day you begin a new life. Today is the day you become something better. Today is the day you become beautiful…today is the day you die and become reborn."**

"**Once you do that my boy, you will learn to love with all your heart and embrace the beauty in life."**

"_Goodbye." You whisper._

**oOoOoOoOo**

You open your eyes to find that you're still standing on the ledge; ears ringing from the sound of the shot that ripped open the silence of the city.

Your hand shakes from the force the gun made when you shot it into the night air.

But your head was intact. You didn't shoot your brains out.

You tried to shoot the moon.

You smile when you hear a thud and glass breaking followed by muffled curses. The window is thrown open and there he was in his black boxers, white skin on full display, face flushed, stricken with panic, his hair sticking in all directions. He looks cute.

"What the fuck Naruto?" he freaks, "Get the hell down from there you idiot! You'll fall!" he falls silent when he looks into your face.

It's all the evidence to you need to know that your smile really does look a beautiful as it looks.

"Hey," you begin, climbing down from the ledge, "Let's get married."

The look on his face was priceless and you cant help but chuckle when you see the confusion own his face.

"No." he hisses, backing away as you step closer. You back him into the window and press him flush to your body, trapping him with your hands.

His eyes are wide and confused, spiced with a hint of anger. You lower your head and plant a kiss on his lips.

"Marry me," you mutter into his ear, kissing it twice.

And he shakes his head and you growl in warning as he tries to squirm away.

"No," he hisses biting your lip in anger, "I'm not going to marry you." You growl once more and press a forceful kiss to his lips, teeth biting into his flesh. His struggles begin anew as you press him closer.

"Why not?" you mutter to him. He groans as you begin to use your tongue.

"Not like this," he mumbles, face flushing once again. You chuckle and pull him into the house, the curtains parting for the two of you.

The next morning when he wakes up, body sore he looks for your warmth to find it gone. You watch from the safety of the door way as he bolts up to find a black velvet box on your pillow. You see him open the box with shaky hands and inside he finds a ring.

A plastic one because you're cheap like that. When his eyes land on yours he glares because you know he's not good with this sappy shit and admittedly neither are you. So instead he slips it on and throws the box at you. You don't care because you're too busy kissing him senseless.

And as you stand in the church a few weeks later, suffocating in a black tux and pulling relentlessly at your collar you smirk because he looks so damn sexy in that white tux. Beside you stands not people but pictures. Portraits of Kiba and Akamaru in the same place because you cant choose between the two of them, behind them a picture of Neji, behind him two pictures of Iruka and Kakashi; and behind them a picture of Sai because you couldn't find him to ask him to attend.

Beside Sasuke stands a photo of Sakrua, whom you tried to convince him he'd love if he ever met her, then a picture of Hinata, who you know would have been in tears of happiness, behind her other pictures of people you don't know.

There was no one in the audience, only pictures because everyone you've known is either dead or gone away to places you can't find.

But that's okay because you've learned to cope. In the front rows of the seats are pictures of your parents and his parents whom you found out were dead. When you ask about the rest of his family he had only shrugged and said a simple 'they would have hated you'. Which was fine because you know it too.

It was a perfect wedding even though you married him with fake rings that turned your fingers green and stolen tuxes you've convinced him you rented.

He never looked so beautiful as he did when you laid him down on his silk sheets and slowly peeled away his white tux, your blushing bride.

All lined up are portraits of the family you've always known.

All smiling.

And when you wake up in the morning and walk past them you cant help but smile because your finger rivals that of the hulk's in color and you wave it to the pictures grinning.

"I'm okay." You tell them softly, "I'm okay."

You could swear they smiled back.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**And there it is, the end. As I said there will be one shots from the Arc but i don't know when I'll post them next so you'll have to be patient. So tell me which ending you liked better and whichever is the most popular I'll keep.**

**Thanks for keeping with me this whole ride and I hope I didn't disappoint! :D**

**Till next time!**


	8. Because It's True

**Sorry everyone, I know I haven't updated in a long time and I apologized, I just got done graduating and I had so many rabid plot bunnies attacking me as of late.**

**Anyway, as I had promised, a series of one shots from this fandom, most of the one shots aren't related and aren't in any order, but this one follows the second ending, you know, the one where Naruto didn't blow his brains out :D**

**Disclaimer: psh, Bitch plez **

**OooOoOoOoOoOoO**

You confessed on a Monday. It was early in the morning and you had spent most of the night mulling your thoughts over and over in your mind until finally you decided that yes, today was the day. So you sat down with your big bowl of ramen to calm your nerves, looking him dead in the eye and confessed.

You didn't really give it much thought though and you're not really sure if you've ever said it before but gods be damned you're saying it now.

You think you may have caught him off guard because the spoon in still in his mouth, his eyes are blown wide, black irises so big you think you'd be lost in them forever had you been given the chance. There's a bit of milk dribbling down his chin because he had only managed to stick the spoon in his mouth when you opened yours and said those pesky words.

He stays still for a long time until finally, slowly, he reaches up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand; taking out his spoon and laying it gently back into his bowl. He coughed once and then he resumed eating, as if you had never said anything.

"Hey," you call out to him, watching as he picks up the news paper and resumes reading, "did you hear me?"

But he doesn't respond and you think that he's being quite insensitive. Here you are, pouring your heart out and the guy barely twitches. You push your own finished bowl of ramen away (you chuckle to yourself on the inside because he's tried so hard to break you from your obsession with the damn noodles often opting to throwing them all out but you always win because he would find the cupboards over flowing with ramen the next day) and watch as he turns the page nonchalantly.

"S'uke?" you're starting to get a bit concerned here because you've just said what's been nagging at you this whole time and he doesn't react. You eye the band on his ring finger and you smile to yourself a bit because you remember how good it felt knowing that he would always be yours. You shake your head from your thoughts, damn Sasuke, distracting you; he's doing it on purpose you just know it.

You reach across the table and pluck the paper from his pale hands. He blinks for a moment in confusion before you're upper body is across the table (pushing his bowl aside to not spill it because you know Sasuke would have your ass if you so much as make a mess in his kitchen) kissing him softly. You frown to yourself because he's not reacting to you; so you pull back and take his cheeks into your hands, he doesn't move as you stare into his unblinking eyes.

"Sasuke?" you question. You're quite nervous, here you were, telling him one of your deep dark secrets, one you knew he already knew, but you suppose it's' the fact that you _told_ him that had him in such a shock.

And then he finally blinks and you see him drop his eyes, fingers playing with the golden band on his finger (You had finally gotten off your lazy ass and actually worked to get him such a simple but beautiful ring, one you had been eyeing in the store down the street for a long time). You strain your neck and kiss him gently once again, trying to gauge a reaction from him.

"Did you hear me bastard?" you ask after pulling back. He nods once, his eyes still down cast. "Then what's your problem?"

He doesn't say anything but he does pull back a good few feet, chair scraping against the tiled floor as he scoots away, swiping his paper from the table and tucking it beneath his arm and walking toward the living room. He does all of this so suddenly that you squawk and flail your arms around falling onto the table with a hard thud as your only means of bodily support vanishes.

"Oi," you begin, rubbing your chin as it throbs, your had smacked it on the table when you fell. You swing your legs around and hop off the table, not caring that your foot hits the box of cereal and it clamors to the ground, spilling crunchy goodness all over the white tiled floor, "The hell? Get over here I'm trying to say something important!"

"I have to go to work," was his only reply as he picks up his bag from the couch, walking to the door and bending down to put on his shoes.

You try, really you do, but you can't help but stare at his ass as he ties his shoes. But you snap into action when he tries to open the door. You shoot forward like a bat out of hell and slam the door shut before he could even think about walking out. He doesn't move for a moment and you cant help but feel a rush of excitement. It probably has to do with the fact that you have him boxed in with your arms, hands planted firmly on the door each on either side of his head. His back is to you and you press his lithe body against the door.

You lower your head and nuzzle his neck, giving his pulse point a little nip. You smile as he shivers and you feel satisfied when he turns around and you're met with endless black irises.

"S'uke." You mutter against his cheek, enjoying the way he bites his lip, either to hold back his emotions or to stop himself from making noise, you're not really sure. But you cant help but to notice how he drops his eyes to the floor once again and damn it this is starting to piss you off.

"Do you want me to say it again?" you ask. He shakes his head and slaps your hands away.

"No." a smile curves your lips and you try to tame the black raven in your arms.

"I think I do."

"I don't."

"I-"

"No!" and then he shoves his hands over his ears and clenches his eyes shut. "Don't say it, don't fucking say it."

You stare for a moment and try to make sense of this whole thing. You try, really you do but you cant reach deep into your brain and piece it all together no matter how hard to try. Isn't this what he wanted? For so long? Isn't this what he always demanded ever since he was 14?

For a moment you're gripped with panic and are for a loss of words. Seriously, you _married_ the guy, he knows what it is you're trying to say, so why wont he allow you to tell him strait to his face instead of his sleeping body? You tighten your lips and begin to notice that feeling of determination creeping up. Jaw set you take his hands from his ears and pin them to the door, planting a kiss on his cheek and whisper into his ear gently but firmly, blue eyes blazing.

"I love you."

There, you said it again.

He doesn't move for a moment and then you feel his body go limp, you follow him all the way as he slides down the door as his legs fail him. His body trembles for a bit and there's something in his eyes you cant quite place. You're never really been good with confessions and this is the first and only you've ever done sincerely and it's proven to be quite the challenge. Especially when it involves Sasuke.

So you say it again, just to confirm that he heard you.

"I love you."

"I heard you the first time idiot!" he growls at you, a vermillion red blush blooming in his cheeks. It makes you oddly satisfied to see him lose his demeanor.

"Then why the hell didn't you answer me?" you demand to know.

"I thought I was dreaming you idiot!" he shouts, pulling away as you try to touch him, pulling his knees to his chest, cheeks burning even brighter.

"Wha?"

And then it clicks. You never thought it was truly important, but with him you guess that yeah, it was important for him to hear that the one he loves; loves him back.

"I thought I was dreaming, or that I heard you wrong!" he continues, eyes and cheeks blazing, "I didn't want- "

You didn't need to hear anymore. So you kiss him, his cheeks burning yours. You pull him into the bedroom and strip him bare, repeating those words again and again till he cried in happiness as you buried yourself deep inside him.

Afterwards you hold him close and splay butterfly light kisses on his neck, watching as he sleeps.

He was afraid that he heard you wrong. If he did he didn't want to know because he wanted to make himself believe that you actually _had_ said it.

How childish. But it didn't matter because you _did_ say it and you honestly didn't know it meant so much to him.

Who would have known?

The next morning you wake up and walk out into the hall, apologizing to Kiba because you accidently knocked his picture down in your hurry to get Sasuke into bed. You watch over the rim of your ramen bowl as Sasuke speaks into his phone apologizing profusely to his boss for missing work the other day. And then a smile reaches you lips when he picks up his coat and reaches for the door in a rush of bags and keys.

"I love you."

You call out, not even attempting to hide your grin as he freezes, a red blush blooming on his pale cheeks. He looks at you for a moment and you chuckle when he slams the door shut, whispering.

"I love you too."

You recline in your chair and stand to stretch; watching through the window as he drives off with a smile.

**oOoOoOoOoO**

**ugh, I'm **_**dying**_** from the sheer amount of fluffiness and sugar sweetness.**

**Anyway tell me what you think! :D**


	9. Stop the World

**Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated anything for this. A huge thank you for everyone that's reviewed despite the lack of updates and if there was a way to give you all hugs and cookies and grace you all with bunnies I would! **

**These small updates don't come in any specific order so if anything gets too confusing don't be afraid to PM me and ask. If not I hope you can all bear with me! Also, some of these upcoming chapters may actually be an "update" to the story line, some, as I stated earlier, may just be small snipits of their daily lives and others may just be lost memories of our dear o'l Naru-baby.**

**Again, I don't have a Beta, actually, I do, and she's amazing XD but she's going to be my beta for my upcoming SoulXStein fic so I don't have her as a Naruto beta, so if there are any mistakes just ignore them :3**

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

When you were eight years old you jump out of your window in order to avoid a frying pan that was chucked at your face. You land harshly on your side and you're pretty sure you broke a rib but that doesn't stop you from scrambling to your feet and taking off running.

Your bare feet hit the pavement hard and there are rocks digging into the soles of your abused feet but you don't stop because there's a monster in your house that once called himself your father. You don't slow down even when you reach the house you were desperately trying to reach and the first thing you do is throw open the window and scramble in.

Kiba and Akamaru don't say anything when they see you dive into their bedroom window and they don't speak when you shove yourself under their bed. You stay like that for a while hiding under their bed, with your head in your knees, shaking in fear and anger while the twins wait patiently for you to come out.

When you do there's a sick feeling in your mouth and your side hurts so much that the tiniest of tears slip from your eyes because your feet are bleeding and your whole side feels like it's on fire. The twins help you sit on the bed and they look over your side, poking unapologetically at the skin even when you hiss in pain to tell you that, no they don't think anything is broken, perhaps just bruised. But then again, they'd say, we're just kids, how should we know?

The twins leave for a moment after that and you're left there in their room all alone thinking to yourself that you were seriously lucky to have been able to dodge that frying pan.

When they get back their faces are nothing but serious and you have a strange feeling in the pit of your eight year old stomach, especially when they press a knife into your hands. Their amber eyes are identical, light up with an array of emotions that you can't identify.

You think it's Akamaru that speaks.

"Just in case." He tells you.

The blade they pushed in your hands gleams and you're a bit frightened because it gives off the same light your father's eyes would whenever he's about to swing his fist at your face. The twins' voices are firm and their eyes are hard, and you can't help but think that this isn't fair, they shouldn't have to look like that and they shouldn't have to even _consider_ shoving a weapon into your hands because the three of you are just kids.

You put the blade in your lap and pull the twins into a tight embrace, praying that when you get older, everything would be okay.

Because this just wasn't fair.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOooo**

"There now," Iruka says softly when he finishes bandaging your latest wounds, "good as new." His face was always gentle and his eyes were always pure.

You sit upon his bed and you swing your legs, a cherry lollipop that Iruka was so kind to provide in your mouth, and give him a toothy grin. It's the newest facial expression you've ever been able to muster and it's because of him that you're even able to feel anything other than fear and anger. Despite the situation the atmosphere is easy-going and you feel glad that he's here because Iruka always fixes you up and gives you treats like candy and ramen.

"Maa, you spoil him way too much 'Ruka." Iruka glares down at his boyfriend and wags a roll of bandages in his boyfriend's face much to your amusement.

"You be quite you big baby." Iruka admonishes. Kakashi mock huffs and wriggles his way over to his kneeling boyfriend and wraps his arms around him, sticking his tongue out at you.

"You're always getting me in trouble." He growls at you playfully.

You just grin back and scramble out the door because Iruka is promising ramen and Iruka always makes the best tasting ramen you've ever had in your entire life.

It'll be okay, you think to yourself, it'll be okay because people like Iruka, Kakashi, Kiba and Akamaru are here and they'll turn this rotten life of yours into one of beauty and happiness.

It'll be okay.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Don't break."

Akamaru holds you close and there are tears in his eyes but his voice is steeled up and his hands don't tremble.

"Please don't break."

Kiba holds your cheeks in his hands and he's looking deep into your eyes and silently begs you to remain still, to keep your eyes dray and your soul strong.

You're trembling and you try to find strength in their warmth.

But it's nothing like the warmth you got from Iruka, and nothing like the strength that Kakashi always gave you.

But they're gone they're gone they're gone they'rgonethey'regonethey'regonethey'regonethey'regone.

You lose all conviction and you scream and cry till your voice is raw and you thrash around in Akamaru's arms. Kiba drops your face and watches as you attempt to destroy yourself from the inside out.

Despite what they tell you; you break.

**oOoOoOoOoOoO**

She's beautiful, with pretty blond hair and pretty blue eyes.

The music that blares from the speakers creates a certain pulse that thrums in your veins and compels you to throw everything you've ever known to the wind and chance. You're at a party that the twins had managed to smuggle you into and the fast beat of the music has captured you and it refuses to let go. It grips you and you thrust your hips and grind to the fast beats, lights flashing harshly into your eyes because everything around you is illegal, especially the alcohol that a random person pushed into your hands. Someone offers you a joint and you smoke it without a problem at all because you're fifteen and you've been doing drugs regularly since you were thirteen. The lights get hazy but you're laughing so hard that your sides seriously hurt but you keep dancing, keep thrusting your hips into anything that moves and you're surprised you haven't been punched yet.

_Stop the world; I wanna get off_

When you down your fourth glass you see her. She's a beautiful thing with her pretty blond hair and pretty blue eyes. She's thin (and if you were in your right mind you would have acknowledged that she was a bit _too_ thin) and wears a pretty purple dress with painted red lips. When she spots you her pretty red mouth opens up in an 'o' and she stumbles to you, hips swaying this way and that, pretty blond hair whipping about her as she makes her way to you. When she approaches you she latches onto your arm, words flying by and over your head a million miles per hour. Her eyes are glazed over and her cheeks are flushed, her face is so thin but you think that this only makes her all the more beautiful.

"Found you found you, oh god, Dei, Dei needs to be here, cause I found you," she babbles on. You don't think to turn away from her as she tightens her grip onto your arm, digging her pretty neon colored nails into your skin, yanking you down to steal your breath in a sinful kiss. She buries her hands in your hair and nips at your lips with blinding white teeth before pulling away with a sinful whine, tugging you harshly towards the bathrooms, heels inaudible against the booming music the speakers belt out, sending the crowed in a crazed frenzy.

She kicks open the bathroom door and screams at the top of her lungs for any occupants to get the fuck out, _now_. Laughter bubbles up out of your throat when people scurry out like wimpy dogs with their tails between their legs, she wastes no time in locking the door behind them and when her blazing blue eyes connect with hers you can understand why.

She's beautiful. Thin and sharp, like a knife, but _so_ much more beautiful and twice as deadly with her sharp bones and beautiful, beautiful face. You're definitely drunk and with that your lungs are burning with the amount of pot you smoked before being pulled into the bathroom by this sinfully beautiful woman. Her lips are ruby red and your heart is pounding so fast but you stumble towards her as she lifts a single finger to beckon you closer, neon colored nail flashing dangerously in the light. When you reach her it's all heat, creamy skin stretched over bones and blazing blue eyes with ruby red lips. She's taller than you, so she shoves you against a wall next the mirrors and she drags you down (down, down to the floor, she's going to bring you to your knees, and the worst part is that you're going to let her). She straddles your lap and you watch her pull out her shiny pink phone; she smirks down at you with her glinting blue eyes and she snaps a picture of you, a mess of a person with wrinkled clothes, unruly hair and huge glazed eyes and flushed cheeks. Your mouth is partly open and she's smirking down at you as she pushes a button on her phone and you hear a voice emerge from her pink- _pink, it's so bright it hurts your eyes just to look at it but you can't look away because if she moves it too fast your heart rate spikes up because ooooh look at it go, so fast so fast- _phone. But the haze of the drugs and alcohol in your system is too much and you can't hear exactly what's being said because you're too busy trying to decide of that tile actually moved or you just imagined it.

"Found...right there…beautiful…souls…brother…"

Before you know it she snaps her phone shut and suddenly she's kissing you. Briefly, you think of Sakura and her pretty green eyes and petal pink hair. She would probably cry and beat you into a bloody pulp if she saw you at this moment, flat on your ass leaning against a wall with this beautifully skinny, broken angel on your lap. She pulls back and reaches into her bra and you watch as she takes out a small bag containing small white beautiful pills.

"Let me, baby," she tells you, almost ripping open the bag with her neon colored nails, "let me destroy you from the inside out, you won't have to do it yourself, let me do it for you." You begin to tremble when you see her pop two pills into her mouth, swallowing them dry. "I sent Dei your picture, he loves you, you're just like us, but you're not close, you have to lose those things that weigh you down, soon though, if you take these you'll be weightless, nothing can touch you like nothing can touch us, you're almost like us, you're pretty with your blond hair and blue eyes but you weigh too much, you need to cut it, the calories," she rambles on, waving the torn apart bag containing only four more pills, "you need to take this medicine, if you take enough you won't weigh a thing, nothing can touch you unless you want it to, that's what Dei says, he says I'm beautiful because I don't weigh a thing just like him. Take them, Baby, because you share the same soul as me and Dei, we both know it, and we take care of ourselves so we'll take care of you." She puts two more pills on her tongue and her lips curl and she doesn't swallow them, she sits on you holding two pretty pills, _your medicine,_ on her tongue, waiting.

You want to be beautiful. You've never been called beautiful and you want people to call you beautiful like people call her beautiful.

So you reach out and you kiss her, swallowing the two pills that once lied on her tongue and you lean back as she begins to rock her hips against yours.

"That's it, that's it," she mutters, "I knew it, I knew it, you're a glutton, a greedy little envious glutton. You're the embodiment of the seven deadly sins, you're greedy, lustful, gluttonous, and you wage your wrath upon those you are envious towards because they have the things that you don't, when it comes to bettering yourself and making all the 'right choices' you get tired and you quit, but once someone strikes your pride you wage war against them, you're deadly, just like Dei and I, but that's why we're going to take care of you, just let the medicine flow through you and soon enough you'll be weightless, and when the time comes I'll teach you how to throw up, once you throw up you'll lose even more weight and everyone will call you beautiful…."

_Stop the world; I wanna get off._

And suddenly, you're flying.

You're chest heaves and she claws at your shoulders as she rides you fast and hard but that hardly matters because fuck, you're _flying_. You're weightless and this is the first woman you're actually fucking _willingly_ and she's was so right because you're weightless, you're flying and nothing can touch you but her because you _want_ her to touch her, she screaming her pleasure to the putrid yellowing ceiling and when she comes her body is tense and a silent scream never leaves her mouth but her skinny back is arched and you're almost afraid that she'll snap it two if she goes any further but that thought quickly leaves your head because it'll be what she would want, snapping in two just means less weight for her and you'd really just be doing her a favor. Afterward, she pulls her pretty dress back down and tucks you back into your pants and she kisses you once again.

The world is a flurry of colors and blobs but it makes you feel so at home; your heart is pounding and you have so much energy to burn, you want to scream, jump, do _something._

_Stop the world; I wanna get off._

You were flying, you are weightless, and she calls you beautiful as she opens the door to two new people, the first you notice, is as beautiful as her, he has blond hair and blue sunken in eyes; the second has blood red hair and jade green eyes.

Green, green, almost like Sakura's but this boy's eyes look like they took a tiny dip in soft blue.

She grabs onto your arm and you're still weightless, still flying and she shoves you into the blond, beautiful man's bone skinny arms. He hugs you and its cold instead of warm and you're okay with that, he kisses your cheeks and he grins into your skin.

"Beautiful," he tells you.

This is Deidara and he's probably one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen. He introduces you to Gaara, whom you find out is going to move far, far, far away soon but you can't seem to focus because your blood is hot and you just want to keep flying. They know and Gaara smirks at you as he fishes another pill out of his own little baggy.

"Get ready," he tells you as Deidara strokes your hair and the woman takes your hand as Gaara puts a pill, _its medicine they tell you, medicine to make you all better,_ into your mouth, "to fly."

And you do.

Your chest is heaving, your throat is burning and you skin is on fire. The pull of the dance floor eats you whole and you're okay with it because you're completely free, the three pills you took do you so many wonders and there's nothing to think about because everything is filled with vivid colors and loud noises. This is your digital suicide and you fucking love how it cuts into your bones, how it shreds your lungs and wrecks havoc on your body. The music pulses and your heart is kicked into over drive as bodies crash into yours, but that doesn't stop you from flying as high as your medicine takes you. You're moving so fast and you don't even take the time to make sure that you're actually breathing because this is so good, you feel so good and nothing can touch you.

Not unless you want it to.

_Stop the world; I wanna get off._

A hand snags yours and it's your broken angel with her blue eyes and skinny, skinny body. She pulls you back into the bathroom and into a stall, you're laughing because you haven't quite figured out how to stop yet and she gives you her deadly smile:

"It's easy," she tells you over the music that shakes the stall walls "see here, watch," she raises a skinny, beautiful finger, "you just stick it in your mouth like this, reach as far as you can and-."

She bends over and her vomit lands perfectly into the bowl with such practiced ease.

"You lose those things that weigh you down."

After that night you never see her again, her or Deidara no matter how hard you looked, but they promised to take care of you and they did, because whenever you went back to that place there was always someone there to give you your medicine. She taught you how to vomit, Dei taught you how to fly and Gaara taught you how to find it.

For the first time you feel weightless and the night after you first met her and Dei and Gaara, you call Sakura up, crying like a little bitch and begging her to forgive you.

But in the end, not even that laid heavy on your body because with your medicine, _nothing_ can hold you down.

_Nothing._

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

You snap awake and it takes you a while to remember where you are. You're lying in bed with a cold towel placed lovingly on your forehead; there's a weight bearing down on your side and but you're pleasantly warm despite the raging headache that raves in your head. The covers are drawn to over your chest and there's soft hair tickling your chin. You turn your hazy gaze down and you smile softly because Sasuke is staring up at you with his onyx eyes as he lies close to your side, his head lying on your shoulder as his legs twine with yours. He graces you with a kiss to the tip of your chin and he reaches up to adjust the towel on your head.

"Feeling any better?" he asks gently as you shiver at the feeling of his fingers grazing your skin.

You remember now, you had managed to catch a cold and Sasuke took two days off work to take care of you when he came home one day to find you passed out on the kitchen floor. You remember how panicked he was and you remember thinking how cute he was while he was flustered and bothered. Of course he slapped you when you began to laugh deliriously from your fever and he shoved you into the bed after he force fed you medicine, _the right kind and not the type you forced yourself to believe was the right one for you,_ and dressed you in your night clothes. He stayed by your side, feeding you, bathing you and putting you to rest and you took pleasure in being babied.

"Yeah," your throat is raw and your lips are chapped and dry but he kisses you anyway and buries his head into your neck, your chin resting on his head as he curls around you, his legs twining with yours, his arms around you and his breath tickling your skin.

This type of weight, you decide, is the perfect kind.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOooO**

**There we are, a bit longer for you all because you've all been so lovely to me :D there's more yet to come and I hope you all will join me for the ride! Please review and tell me what you all think!**


	10. To Smile

**Hi guys! It's certainly been a while, hasn't it? I am proud to announce that this will be the last and final chapter that I will ever add to this fic because it is now over!**

**I hope you all enjoy it and I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and wonderful reviews.**

**OoOoOOoOOoOOo**

"Fuck," you hear Sasuke hiss on a cold October morning. Lazily you roll over and watch through half lidded eyes as he stumbles away from the bed, shivering and curling his toes each time he takes a step, feet connecting almost silently with the cold floor. You take him in, notice silently how he runs a hand through his messy hair, ink falling over alabaster skin and barely touching his shoulders. There's a tiny birthmark right beneath his right shoulder blade, that small spot so sensitive that sends him over the edge whenever you nibble on it just right. You trail your eyes lower, following the dips and curves of his body until your skin begins to heat, a slow flush working its way across your flesh as you lick your lips. Sasuke takes another step, his breath hitches and he flinches as the cold seeps up through the soft pads of his feet and slowly immobilizes him.

"Get back in bed," you chuckle, leaning over and snagging his thin wrist, marveling still at the difference in color between the two of you. He eyes you, takes in your flushed cheeks and your blown eyes and he smirks.

Married for five years and yet to this day he's still irritatingly smug over the effect he still has on you, setting you ablaze with lust with no effort at all.

The ring on his finger gleams.

You give a strong tug and he comes willingly, allows you to push him down into the pillows and sheets, you bury your face into the space of his neck, giving soft kisses and nips here and there. He gasps and rakes his nails gently over the skin of your back and you pull back to watch his eyes flutter when you thrust against him, your cock embarrassingly hard.

"What are you doing up so early," you ask, nipping at his nose, "I know how much you hate waking up before noon."

You blink in surprise when he drops his eyes, a flush of embarrassment painting his cheeks and if that's _not_ the single most hottest and adorable thing you've ever witnessed; your life would have been a lie. He blows air from his mouth in an affectionate huff and he shrugs.

"It's your birthday," he grumbles, "I was going to cook you something."

Your heart begins to race and your dick gets even harder.

"But you don't cook," you say with a huge smile creeping on your face.

He huffs again and reaches up to swat at your face, "I know that, which is why I was going to make you ramen, idiot."

"You can't cook ramen either." You chirp, grunting and attempting to get a hold of his hands which were starting to shove at you a bit harder.

"I know that, idiot! Which is why I had later decided that for a buffoon like you cereal would have been just fine!" he growls when you finally catch his hands long enough to plant a long sloppy kiss on his lips, grinning even after his bites at you hard enough to make you bleed. You thrust against him again and his eyes go impossibly wide when he feels you against his thigh.

"You're such a freak," he grumbles, losing his fight against you and the blush that began to darken to alarming degrees.

"I cant help it," you grin, "Everything you do makes me want to fuck you that much more."

"It was just an attempt at breakfast in bed. Even then it was just going to be cereal."

"But just thinking about the fact that you even _considered_ doing it makes me randy." You say wiggling your eyebrows. You kiss him again, with slightly bloody lips and you can't help it if you find it even hotter that the crimson looks so good on him. "Which kind were you going to give me?" You ask, kissing down his jaw, smearing your marks across his skin.

"The kind you love." He gasps.

"With the tiny dinosaur marshmallows?"

"Y-yeah."

"_Fuck_ I love you."

**OoOoOoOooOoOoOO**

You leave him sleeping and satiated in your bed later that afternoon, him far too tired to even muster the energy to make any type of movement much to your delight. You walk into the hallway towards the bathroom, grinning at Kiba and Akamaru, nodding to what you knew would be jeers and slaps on the back. Their timeless grins speaks volumes from their pictures and you nod politely at Sasuke's parents from their place in the black frame that holds them up on the wall, trying to not feel guilty at debauching their son that entire morning for hours on end. Mother smiles at you from her place next to Hinata and Neji, their frames golden and sliver and shining in the light as you walk by. Everyone greets you and you bid good afternoon to each and every one of them, their pictures the next best thing even if they were all gone.

You continue down the hallway before you stop. You look at the sun, gleaming from its place beyond the clouds and for once you don't have to force yourself to smile at it. For once you greet the day with a grin and a skip in your step. Before, only one person had helped you accomplish that and now, now you think that it's time to stop running.

You turn on your heel and walk back into your room to wake Sasuke.

**OoOoOoOooOoOoOoO**

Sakura is even more beautiful than the pictures and your memories combined when you lay your eyes on her for the first time in years. Her eyes are wide in shock and she drops the glass coffee cup in her hand and you barely notice when it shatters at her feet. Her hair is a bit longer than you remembered and you spy a sprinkle of eye shadow on her eye lids and a small dash of lipstick on her lips, painting them a brilliant pink.

She's blossomed at last.

You smile, wipe the sweat from your hands and you clear your throat, reaching out before falling short hesitantly pulling your hand back to your side.

"Hi," you say softly.

"H-hey," she croaks back, her eyes filling with tears as she takes you in for the first time in years.

"I-I got married," you burst, "I got married and you were Sasuke's maid of honor, because I knew that if you two ever met you'd be the best of friends, like we were. And your picture is hug up in the hallway in our home, because you know I can't go a day without you watching over me. A-and I'm here, because it's my birthday and I'm waking up now, with a smile on my face and I-I'm happy now and I want you know that. I want you know that I'm happy now, and I'm not on drugs anymore, you helped fix that. You helped me fix myself and I owe so much," tears spill down your cheeks and you reach forward once more, take her hand in yours and you grip her hand tightly like the child you never were allowed to be.

"I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. I'm sorry I was such a shit person, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry I never showed up to your wedding and fuck, I'm so fucking sorry for all the shit I made you go through." You finally break off, a fresh sob ripping from your chest and she gives you a watery smile that nearly stops your heart and she tugs at your hair, pulling you into a bone crushing heart.

"You're an idiot," she sobs, "Such a fucking idiot and as soon as I'm done crying you can properly introduce me to your husband without me looking like an ugly cow."

"Okay," you sob into her arms, "Okay."

**OoOOOOoOOOoOoOo**

You collapse into your bed that night, pulling Sasuke closer to you and allowing him to help you out of your clothes.

"You were right," Sasuke speaks, "I do like her."

"She's a fucking warrior Goddess," you say, your voice impossibly soft.

Sasuke nods, "Especially when she drop-kicked you off her porch."

"In my defense I only stole _one _cookie," you grin. Sasuke chuckles and you kick off your shoes and cuddle closer when he gets you both underneath the covers.

"Thank you," you whisper, eyes heavy and heart light as he kisses you.

"Idiot," he says, reaching over and turning off the lamp and settling in your arms and you lay awake long after his breathing settles and he slips away into his dreams; you following soon after

And in the morning you'll wake up with a smile on your face to a fresh bowl of cereal and a husband who'll get the right kind with the tiny dinosaur marshmallows. You'll kiss him hard, and coax him into good morning sex and he'll scold you, smack you for making him late for work and he'll slip away with another kiss. You'll call up Sakura, ask her about her day and ask about her two children and you'll make plans to visit them soon. And when Sasuke comes home you'll pester him into agreeing to take out and you'll make love to him again in the living room, smile sheepishly at the photographs of his family and you'll carry him to bed.

And then you'll greet the rest of the days for the rest of your life with a smile on your face.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Don't forget to review! **

**Cheers!**


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